Should I?

The day of accident

   Back again in the same atmosphere where prayers where heard more than in any another place . The smell of antiseptics,sickness and the only joy is the cry from labour room. Some face were hopeful ,some were waiting for another addition to their joy, some were despair and other's who can't accept the truth .

     The jetlag doesn't seem to bother any of them.They could only wait silently outside the door watching Tae's family crying . Even if they wanted to comfort them,it seem impossible when they are the source of the hurt.

Insomnia
Lack of food
Depression

    were some of the reasons for Tae to be back into the hospital. They heard from their manager that Baekhyun wanted to come but unfortunately due to group commitments wasn't able to.

Silently waiting outside the room ,they can't help but remember the day of the accident .

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  The backstage was lacking it's usual playfulness which was lost after the day of Tae's revelation. Even though the members were bickering playfully ,the absence of Tae's voice was noticeable. The makeup noona's tried to bring up his mood every time they could but it was never seem to lift. They know he wasn't being inconsiderate and also know that he was thankful for their gestures. Nowadays ,his only normalcy was with the noonas,manager and EXO members .

      It wasn't he who shared his sexuality with them . During one of the events ,the members berated and shouted him for coming close to them which was heard by Baekhyun and Suho. When he felt like another disappointment coming again ,he was only met with acceptance and support. They were only disgraced by his members actions.

For some reason ,he felt something different about the day like something bad was going to happen .When he felt like that ,he made a silent prayer for his members,army ,manager and for almost everyone present at the event except for himself.

  He never spoke more than they need these days but something was nagging at the back of his mind to speak today. The only person he could think of was Namjoon because of the reason he was the one who hasn't verbally harmed him . Even then,silence some times hurt more than words do.

One by one was getting on the stage while only Tae and Namjoon was left . He spoke with even considering the fact his hyung might be not hearing what he said.

   "Do you know something hyung? I think the fans are right of me being an idiot weird guy.Don't you think only an idiot would gives priority to the people  who hurt him with words and actions ? An idiot who is willing to take the pain if it means his members are safe.."

  Namjoon was confused by Tae's words which came all out of nowhere and don't know why he felt it relevant.

Just like that ,they were on the stage performing their songs . Tae performed with the nagging feeling in his heart and an irrational fear. The fear seems to getting more intense after each song .

When the time to perform Spring Day came,he could feel the worry consuming him .The part where Jimin performing alone came . He doesn't know why his attention fall onto the lightning above Jimin and his heart almost bursted when he realise that it was loose .

He felt him halting for a second and somehow the voice got stuck in his throats . He was mentally kicking himself to move forward and to shout .

All of a sudden he felt himself shouting Jimin and moving towards him ,after that he remembers only closing his eyes with a smile.

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"Kim Taehyung,calm down . You are not in danger and no one else is ."

The members could hear the voices of the doctor trying to calm Taehyung after his screaming of Jimin's name .
Jimin felt the fear once again choking him .

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  As Jimin was dancing ,he heard Tae shouting his name and the next moment he find himself pushed by him. All of a sudden he heard a crash and found Tae under the lightning the blood enveloping his body .

He could find black spots in front of his eyes . The panic seeming to sink him. The time he woke up slightly to find Tae lying alongside him in an ambulance with the doctors trying to slow down the bleeding.He wanted to say something but it was lost among the darkness once again consuming him.

The next time he woke up , he was in the hospital room with Hoseok beside him but this time he couldn't find Tae.

"Hyung ,where is Tae?"

He could see the hesistance in his stance and he replied ,

"Operating Room "

  The past memories of him abandoning his once best friend ,speaking hurtful words to the person who always supported him and never looked upon him . Once again proving how much Tae is the real angel ,a best friend he doesn't deserve .

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They wait outside silently as they didn't deserved to panic or cry getting their heart sliced at each tears of Tae's family and his screams .