Should I?

Shadow..

    All the while kook could do was stare at his phone. He wasn't brave enough like his hyung to watch his Tae hyung with uncertainty of death  clouding around him. He don't know whether he has the right to say ' his Tae hyung' after his words and actions when Tae was not wired up like he was now.

    He kept scrolling through the phone in which hyung was with each of them and together as BTS. One after the other he was saving each and every random pictures into his phone. Just one incident , one relevation and he deleted all the pictures of Tae and distanced from him. Now, he has to depend on the internet for a photo. After going through each pic , he realised how much he was missing Tae. The pictures reminded him of his hyung's playfulness,his smile , the way he would never get angry at him for being a brat and play along with his pranks. His hyung never betrayed him even if it means getting scolding from Jin hyung. Every scolding ,every nagging and in every tears his hyung stood by his side. When he thought he was alone , his hyung would magically appear out of nowhere. Every time he was reminded,his hyung was there like a shadow. One can't see the shadow every time, but it is there ..always there.

  The one time he entered the icu, the image never left him . He never felt this weak as felt that day. What shook him to the core was not the tubes, but the sickening calmness surrounding Tae. He fears that his hyung may accept the calmness forever. After what his hyung had to face, he wouldn't surprise if he welcomed the serenity of death. The only certainty he has now is that for whoever his hyung is fighting against death ,it's none of them .

   At times he would look around ,he could find his hyungs doing here and there . Many emotions were there choking the atmosphere but the most prominent was guilt.

"Hyung ,Hobi hyung...", he called the person who he depends on when devoid of any hope.But Hobi continue to walk around.his heart felt disheartened how his hyung ignored him. Then a wind of shame took him with force , reliving a fragment of memory.

"Kookie ..Don't ignore me . Speak a word to me."

For once he was ignored he was crept by loneliness , then what would have his hyung gone through when ignored and when noticed , to receive only harsh glared and words. His body shook violently as his sobbing got louder .

"Kook..Don't cry .I didn't meant to ignore you . ", Hobi kept rubbing his shoulders.

"Tae hyung ..I am sorry ..I am sorry .."

And by the hug from his hyung , he realised Hobi hyung understood what his cries were for.