A Believer: Blessed (Vol. 3)

Record 5: Challenge Accepted

Even though, I already know that God is in control and God has a purpose in everything.

I still wonder and tempted to ask God if why everything that comes to me is not my line. I mean, baking and cooking is not my passion. It's not what I want. That's why everytime they called me for that, I had a hard feelings.

But in my situation now, as if I have a choice. I have to do what I have said for. And it is for the mission, so my excuses are all nonsense.

Because I have to do it for God. And I should desire it for God.

But is it still the will of God for me? Why I can't embrace it easily. It was already my third year doing this and my feeling is still the same.

Or maybe, I already love it but I just don't like the pressure my head (leader) is giving me. Because in her eyes, I need to do errything perfectly, I need to do my best. And that's making me sad and frustrated sometimes because my best wasn't good enough in her eyes.

Anyways, even though how long my rant will it takes, it will never change my situation now. If I were shasha (my classmate in theology before), I will love what I am doing. But the problem is, I am not her. Because she love cooking and baking so much.

Sometimes, I thought maybe there was a problem on the first time we received our calling. Maybe, there was a calling swap. But that very thing, will never happen. God knows everyone, our skills, our strength and weaknesses. And I believe, he has something in the future that he prepares and equip us right now.

What I need to do now is to swipe that bitterness away and accept the challenge. I need to take it possitively and let God do the job for me. I know, if he put me here he will help me. And he will never forsake me nor leave me. But he will walk with me always.

I need to prepare myself emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

I need to view it as a blessing not a burden. So that through it all, I will be happy and live free.