A Believer: Blessed (Vol. 3)

Record 16: Dear Somebody

Dear somebody who can understand me,

Dear someone who will not judge me..

Dear anyone who can offer me a hug right now, instead of thinking that I'm a burden,

Please listen, I have something to tell you.

I know I should not be affected or felt indifference, but why I'm hurt, sad. My spirit was crushed. Not because of the material thing but the treatment they showed to me.

Dear sombody who can understand me, please help me understand the situation.

I worked hard, do all my best, give them some overtime just to show them that I am dedicated to my work, because I already learnt from the past.

But dear someone who will not judge me, why they increase the salary of  my co-employee who just hired a month ago, and left me to the little amount I usually received.

Dear somebody who can understand me, I did not compare myself to the other employee, of course I'm not saying I'm better than her to deserve this but, what hurts me more, because  my employer doesn't really like me. Though I did what is right, it's wrong to them. I did my best, it was not enough for them.

Dear somebody who can understand me, I'm hurt because they belittled me and ignore my potential or they used it on their own benefit but never, never think about me.

Dear somebody who can understand me, I want to complain and tell them what I really felt, but it will only get me wrong again in their eyes.

How?? How??

Dear someone, why there are people who are not fair. Who are always correct, and show you are always wrong.

Dear someone, why there are people like them in the world.

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When they hired me, it was like I'm in the cloud. Flying. Feeling the dream that will soon come true.

But through the journey of fulfilling my dream, they all changed it's designed. They give me the wrong way.

They trick me..

And, until now, my dream is still a dream. The ending they showed me was never the ending they gave.

I was confused, will I stay and continue or give up and renew the dream I wish to be many years ago?

Dear somebody, I was tricked.

How can I accept this. How can I move one, if it is not only the first time they did this to me. So many times..

How can I fix myself again, heal my broken heart.

How can I stand in front of them. How to be bold, and speak the unspoken thought.

How to be human, or how to be a christian when they are turning me into someone I am not familiar with.

How to love, forgive when it's hard to believe that I can love and forgive them, sincerely.

Dear someone who can offer me a hug, maybe what I only need is just a hug. Just a hug to lighten my loads. Just a hug that made me feel like I am understood. A hug that says 'I am not judging you. '

A hug that will remind me that everything are all under God's care.