A Different Type of Meeting

Chapter 18 - Feyre/Rhysand

Feyre

I had never seen a sunrise as stunning as the one over Velaris, as the light glinted on the sea of rooftops below. I was standing on the balcony now, counting the down the seconds until I would actually have to leave my room without arousing suspicion. I heard a sound above me, on the roof somewhere, like someone pacing. I leant out as far as I could and looked up, trying to catch a glimpse of who was up there. I couldn't see anything, so I decided to ignore it, probably just a bird anyway. 

I left my room not long after that, looking for a distraction or someone who I could make hate me. I headed down to the training ring, only to see Cassian and Rhys sparring in the ring, so I hid in the shadows and watched. Both of them were nothing more than blurs, each moving in unison with the other. No noises other than the clashes of metal, neither of them spoke a word. They sounded like corpses reanimated to fight. Nothing more than shells of people. It seemed familiar. I smiled slightly as Cassian started beating the High Lord, who seemed distracted by something else. I nearly laughed out loud at Cassian's cocky grin morphing into a frown as Rhysand flicked the sword out of his hand. But my joy and laughter morphed to, into sadness and tears. Because I would miss this, I couldn't make them hate me. I couldn't do it without breaking myself apart more than the fragments of a person I already was. I just couldn't. The emotions swarmed back in. Doubt clouded by confusion, clouded by sadness wrapped in a blanket of nothing. I took one last look at the smirks on both of the males faces and ran away, back to my room. 

Rhysand

Someone had been watching us, I could feel it, but I dismissed it as one of the random boggle of emotions I had been feeling all morning. I smirked at Cassian, who had become more cocky over the past ten years than I had ever seen him when he was younger. He deserved to be beaten, but it was fun anyway. 
"You're still distracted." He spoke, and then I heard footsteps running away and I swivelled to face the entrance to the ring, where I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of a figure running away. A spy? My mate? My imagination? "What was that?" Cassian asked, so obviously not my imagination then. 
"Who knows, and who cares." I walked over to the wall and slumped against it, letting the stone cool me down.
"Usually, you know and you care. But something's up." He gave me a pointed look and I avoided it. Because something was up, but it wasn't about me. 

Feyre

I went straight to my room, avoiding everything and everyone. I needed to go, now, before I couldn't bring myself to do it anymore. Now or never. And I chose now. I picked up the paper beside my bed and the pen, and started writing. But not from me, from the person who I needed to become to win this war against myself, for them. Tears slid down my cheeks as I wrote the final words. No goodbye, no emotion, no anything. I tried to wipe the tears away, but it just left streaks of water on me, so I evaporated it, only for it to be replaced instantly. 

I picked up the finished note and stuck it to the backboard of my bed, in clear view from the doorway. I wiped away the final tear. And I stepped back, looking out over Velaris, safety. Home. And I closed my eyes and whispered down that thread of a bond linking me and Rhysand,
Goodbye. And Velaris faded away around me into the darkness between two places. 
Goodbye, the only word that I would ever associate with that strange feeling. Goodbye, and I will see you on the other side. Waving from the battlefield.

Rhysand

Goodbye.

I heard the word, whispered down that bond. The quietest I had ever heard that voice. Feyre. I shot up straight from the wall and looked Cassian in the eye, who now seemed to be worried and confused. I was terrified. I ran, straight to her room, straight to the place I knew I would never find her. Because she was gone. I knew she was.

I threw the door open and, sure enough, there was nothing but hints that she had been here. Nothing but a note, stuck to backboard of her bed. Cassian stood behind me, shock, confusion and sadness all mingled in his expression, and then Azriel appeared. He, too, seemed confused. But I couldn't think of anything except that note and Feyre. I snatched it from where it was stuck, and read.

High Lord, and associated Court members, 
I write this note in the hope that you will find it promptly. Thank you for your hospitality and your information. It will be very useful at the meeting I will soon greet you again at. Please do not feel betrayed because, truly, you never had an ally in me anyway.
One more thing, High Lord, you better hope you didn't lie to me. 
Regards,
Feyre Archeron
Spring Court

I dropped it onto the bed, and didn't know what to feel. I just felt empty. Anger swelled, but failed to rise to the occasion because of the sadness and grief that mingled with it. Cassian read it next, and then Azriel. The latter seemed to show no emotion, whereas the prior looked sad, betrayed. 
"She knows everything." Az whispered and, somehow, he seemed unfazed by the fact that Feyre had left and was instead focused on the effect it would have politically. 
"She, was also my mate." I said, the anger now rising to the surface again, strangely, clouding the grief.
"Was?" Az asked, looking almost as confused as Cassian now.
"If she wants to face my court, it is to her own detriment." I turned and left the room, going to find Mor. If Feyre wanted to side with Spring, then she would find a different face at the meeting in five days.