Grumpy (Suga x F Reader Hybrid AU)

Lasers and Catnip

A combination of two prompts from SpaceNovak over on AO3

Also, three cheers for idk how to make a fuckin title ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Yoongi's ears twitched in annoyance. Biting back your sigh, you asked, "What is it?"

"You know what the fuck it is," he snapped, eyes never leaving the tiny ball of grey fur in your arms.

It was a kitten. A real one, that is. Not a hybrid but a full blown, 100% pure cat. Your coworker is on vacation and asked you to cat sit, and you of course agreed. You loved cats, not just cat hybrids.

"His name is Smoky," you said, watching Yoongi cautiously and holding the kitten just a little tighter.

Yoongi's tail started flicking in irritation. "His?"

"Yoongi."

He glanced at you for a moment.

"It's a cat."

"I'm a cat."

"You're a cat hybrid," you pointed out.

"Still part cat," Yoongi grumbled. At your frown, he added defensively, "I'm just saying, you seem to have a preference."

Good lord.

"Not for bestiality," you hissed.

"But -"

"Yoongi," you snapped, turning on your heel. "I'm done with this conversation. Smoky is staying with us for three days, and you are going to be nice to him."

You stalked to the living room, hugging Smoky tight to your chest. The kitten was only a couple months old, so he was small. You knelt beside the bag your coworker brought, digging around for some toys. You found a laser and excitedly pointed its red dot at the floor. Smoky cocked his head at it, butt wiggling in his preparation to pounce, but then something a bit larger than a kitten dropped on it.

"What the hell?" You cried in surprise as Smoky dove into your lap.

Yoongi blinked, staring at his splayed hand in confusion. His tail waved behind him cautiously.

He whispered, "Why did I do that?"

A slow grin spread over your face, and you turned the laser back on and pointed it at the couch. Sure enough, Yoongi launched himself at it. He frowned, ears twitching, and muttered, "Stop it."

"Stop what?" You teased, moving the laser and giggling as he ran after it. "This is for the kitten."

He turned his head to pout at you. "This isn't fair. I can't help it."

Your giggles turned into full fledged laughter as you shined the laser around the room.

However, your mirth instantly died when he ran head-first into the end table, knocking over the lamp. That poor, poor lamp. You immediately shut off the laser and darted to his side, helping him sit up.

"Sorry, Yoongs," you mumbled.

He rubbed his head ruefully, shooting you a glare. "I told you to stop it."

With that, he hopped up and stalked to your bedroom, tail flicking in irritation. You sighed, regretful, but then Smoky bumped his head against your leg and you remembered your responsibility. So, you let your hybrid sulk and gave the kitten your attention.

It was when you broke out the catnip that Yoongi appeared at your side once more.

"What's that?"

You jumped, smiling at him apologetically. "I really am sorry, baby."

"What?" His ear twitched before he shrugged, "Oh, whatever. What is that?"

"Catnip," you said carefully, gauging his reaction.

"Huh," he said, cocking his head at it.

Smoky was rolling around in the catnip, meowing and rubbing his face against the carpet. Yoongi crouched beside him, eyes trained on his movements.

"What's it for?"

"It, uh," you struggled to find a good explanation. "It just makes him feel relaxed, I guess?"

"Ah," Yoongi nodded.

Suddenly, he took a pinch of it and shoved it under his nose, inhaling.

Oh no.

"Yoongi -"

Too late.

"Whooooaaaa," he breathed, blinking two blown eyes at you. "That shit's nice."

You found yourself rolling your eyes, standing to distance yourself from the two high cats. "Yeah, okay. You're on Smoky duty until whatever this is, is over."

"Uh huh," he exhaled, not looking at you. "Sure, yeah."

Shaking your head, you went to the kitchen to get a snack.

Suddenly, Yoongi shouted, "Y/N! Get in here, it's an emergency!"

You booked it back to the living room, terror gripping your throat. "What?! What is it?"

The hybrid's butt was in the air, his tail wiggling lazily, and his face was pressed super close Smoky's tummy. He was running strokes over the kitten's back, and you cocked your head. "Uh, Yoongs, what's wrong?"

"He's so soft," Yoongi whispered loudly, as if it was some profound scientific discovery. He looked up at you, murmuring, "So...soft. Is Yoongi this soft?"

Third person. High-on-catnip Yoongi speaks in the third person. Sweet lord.

Something about his imploring wide eyes made you respond with, "Yes, Yoongi. You're that soft."

He purred in appreciation, eyes fluttering shut as he continued to pet the cat. "Soooofffttt."

"...Right," you nodded, unsure of what to do. "Very soft."

He gazed up at you with dilated pupils, "So soft."

"Okay, Yoongs," you said, laughing. "You're cute."

"Cute," he parroted, already focusing on the cat again.

Grinning, you went back to the kitchen to finish making your snack.

"Y/N!" Yoongi cried in a panic.

Too trusting, you shot back into the living room. "What?!"

He was staring intensely at the kitten. When you entered, he blinked up at you and insisted, "Smoky is cute too."

A moment of silence.

And then a long, heavy sigh escaped your lips.

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Everybody needs a high-on-catnip Yoongi in their life.

I hope you enjoyed! Please Vote if you did, and don't be afraid to comment! Also, send me any requests you have!