The Secret

Chapter 8

Contains some material that could be sensitive for some readers.

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As I open the door, I bash into someone. It takes a second for me to steady my balance. I see the confusion on my mother's face.

"What are you doing here?" she asks surprised.

"I felt sick." I lie and move my hand to wipe my tears.

"Did you go to the nurse?"

"No" I look up "You're a nurse."

"Ha ha very funny." she crosses her arms.

I look down sheepishly.

"Look, I need to go I'm late for work." she explains. "I'll let you stay home. Only once. If this happens again, I'll drag you to school."

I nod. She walks up to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. As she walks to her black car, which is about ten years old now and falling apart, before she opens the door she turns to look at me.

"We also need to have a talk about-" she drags her pointed finger up and down the length of my body. "This." she finishes

She gets into the drivers seat and waves at me, I wave back. As she turns the corner at the end of the street and is finally out of sight. I turn around, walk into my house and slam the door shut. I sit down, with my legs crossed, on the carpeted floor, thinking everything over. Am I being dramatic? Am I being selfish? The questions circles my mind. Maybe I should have just stayed and not run off.

But as I remember what Maddy said I burst into tears. How could she say such a thing? How can anyone say something like that about another human being? It's disgusting. My vision starts to blur and after awhile everything becomes dark.

I get up not recognising the area. I walk around. It's pitch black. I walk in a straight line with my hands extended in front of me. My hands collide with a wall. As I start to turn ninety degrees, something grabs my arm. I soon realise it's a hand that has me in a steel grip. I scream and start to thrash about. The grip getting tighter and tighter until my arm feels numb.

"You can not run away, little child." a croaky deep voice says. The voice that haunts me in my dreams and every waking hour of my day. I scream again. I scream and scream until my throat feels dry and the screams turn into whispers of help. He pushes me onto the ground which is hard just like concrete. I bash my head onto the ground as I fall, I feel a pain shoot into my head. My head is banging loudly through my ears. Before I can dwell on the pain, a hard body falls on top of me, knocking the breath out of my lungs. I turn away from his filthy breath.

He grabs my face with his massive hand and twists it so I'm facing him. Nose to Nose. Tears start pouring from my eyes silently as I take in the sudden light shining into my eyes and the baby mask pressing against my face. He abruptly leans down kisses me. I squirm under the sudden attack. He leans back and smacks me. My left cheek stinging along with my throbbing head.

He trails his hands down my body. I scream again, I scream for him to stop. I try again. But he doesn't stop. Then he rips my clothes off my body until I am fully bare. I kick at him, but he does not budge. I begin to shout for help. But as I do a pain surges through me. The agony too much to bear. The pain I remember all too well. I look down at the assault that's taken place.

I yell no,but he does not listen. He continues until I can't handle it anymore and I would rather die than to live through this.

I cry out as I gain consciousness. My screams filling the empty house. I roll up into a ball as I cry and scream at the same time. I look up slightly and see a reflection of myself.

As soon as I see myself I start to cry out again. Hiccups had started to arise from my body now.

"I can't do this." I cry softly to myself. "I can't-"

I somehow manage to lift my body weight and drag myself into the bathroom in my room. I enter the single shower in the room. I turn on the hot water as it soaks my clothes to my skin. I drop down to sit on the floor of the shower. I lean my head back, allowing me to feel the scorching water against my face. The water masking my tears. I start to violently shake uncontrollably. I scream in frustration. So much pain. It hurts. Everything hurts. I spot something out of the corner of my eye. I reach to get it and look at it in fascination. The blades are sharp, an unused razor. I stare intensely at it, then I trail my eyes to my wrist. I move the razor over my wrist. Not feeling anything. I cut deeper. Blood spilling out. I cut again. More blood. Compelled by the sight of red, I do it again and again until I feel a darkness overtake me.