The Secret

Chapter 3

No.No. NOOOOOO. I woke up suddenly, dripping with sweat. My body shaking. I couldn't control it. My head's pounding. It's so loud. My breathing is short and uneven. There's not enough air. I look around my room. My eyes stop at the window in front of me. I get up quickly and run to it, opening the latch and sliding the glass up. I stick my head out the window. The feeling of cold air hit my face. I inhale the fresh air and a feeling of calm surrounds me. I wait until my breathing is under control before I pull back. I close the window. I get back to my bed, sitting with my head against the headboard and my legs stretched out. I turn my head lazily to the left where my nightstand is placed, on top of the white painted nightstand, is a digital clock staring at me. It reads 2:47 am. I sigh and look up at my white ceiling. I'm afraid to close my eyes. It forces me to remember but I don't want to remember. I want to forget, but how? How can I when the only thing I can think about is the feeling of pain from that night? All I can feel is pain. My head hurts. I look down at my lap. Everything hurts. I look back up and my eyes let out a water droplet, followed by another until a waterfall erupts from my eyes. I stay in the same position silently crying, making sure that my mother can't hear me.

I hear a sudden beeping sound coming from my nightstand. I look over. The time is 6:30 am. I must've fallen asleep. I hit the off button to make the noise stop. My eyes are threatening to close. I don't let them.

I get up. My legs feel weak. I drag my legs over to the mirror, I stand in front of it. My reflection looks horrible. My dark brown hair is sticking out all over the place, I've got dark circles under my eyes. I look like I've been dragged across the floor multiple times. I walk away and drag myself to my bathroom, where another mirror is placed right above the sink. I scoff. I splash my face with cold water. I brush my teeth, the minty freshness dissolving my morning breath. I get out my brush from the drawer next to the sink. I start to brush my tangled dark brown hair while staring at the face in front of me. I don't like that face. With that thought, I grab a towel and cover up the mirror. Better. I continue to brush my hair. I pull my hair out of my face. I tie it into a low ponytail. I walk into my closet. Ugh, another mirror.

I grab my long dress and cover the full-length mirror up, I grab a blanket and cover up the one in my room also. I pick out an outfit. I put it on with my shoes and walk out.

As I walk down the stairs I can smell food. As I draw nearer, the smell is making me sick. I walk into the kitchen barely able to hold in my gag.

"Oh hey, sweetheart," my mam says turning around. "That dress looks beautiful on you"

"Thanks," I say looking down at my yellow flowy dress that has long sleeves with cut-out shoulders.

"I've made breakfast. Bacon and eggs."

"Thanks but I'm going to pass," I say.

My mother's face changes slightly. I walk over and place a kiss on her cheek.

"I'm meeting up with Maddy for breakfast."

Her face brightens. She loves Maddy. She's like a second daughter to her. Hell, everyone loves her.

"Ok as long as you're getting food in your stomach." she pokes my belly.

"I am" I give her a smile. As I turn around my smile fades away. I grab my school bag which is sitting next to the front door and leave my house.

I get into my car and drive. I drive all over town. In silence. The only noise I can hear is the car tyres on the road. The odd one or two cars beeping their horns. I like driving. I feel secure. In charge of every turn I take. Every brake I press. I roll down the windows to let the fresh air enter my car. I feel relaxed. Just for a second, I felt like I was free.