Crying at the Moon

The Sun

----------------------

"The sun fell in love with the moon even when they're too different to exist side by side."

----------------------

[☀️]

"You've been quiet the whole ride home." Moonbyul asked when she was alone with Solar in their shared room.

"I'm just tired." Solar shrugged. She couldn't possibly explain something she herself wasn't sure of.

She always hated how greasy Moonbyul is, but when its directed towards her it becomes less annoying. And if she's being honest to herself she kind of likes it.

Moonbyul tilted her head, placing her one hand on Solar's waist and the other on Solar's stomach. "Are you still upset about earlier?"

Solar didn't know why she felt annoyed at Moonbyul's question. But if she's being honest; its because of the implications that her question meant.

"I wasn't upset about anything." She lied, pulling away from the other girl.

"Krystal is a thing from the past, if that's what's bothering you." Moonbyul didn't understand why she felt the need to explain herself but she did it anyway.

Solar laughed humorlessly and crossed her arms defensively. "And why would you think I'd be bothered by that?"

She is bothered by it, but she shouldn't; Moonbyul is just her co-worker, her friend, her sister. She shouldn't have the reason to.

Moonbyul shrugged. "It just looked like you were."

"Well I'm not." She lied, her tone wasn't convincing for any person other than Moonbyul. "Why would you even think that? Its not like I like you in that way." She said with emphasis.

She didn't understand why it felt like she was stabbing herself with each word.

And it also didn't help that Moonbyul looked like a kicked puppy in that moment.

"Yeah." Moonbyul forced a smile. "Why did I think that? How silly of me."

Solar almost wanted to take back her words; almost. But she wasn't ready to face the consequences of what she really wanted to say. She didn't think she could afford being honest to Moonbyul at this moment.

"Like I said, I'm just tired, Byul." Solar said in a much softer tone.

Moonbyul nodded and offered her a smile. "I should let you rest then." She felt like she still has a lot to say; but how can she argue when Solar's voice is that gentle? So she let it slide, maybe Solar really is just tired. She's right; why would Solar even be jealous? Its just her wishful thinking; Solar just don't see her that way.

She figured it was best to be alone for a while, so she reached for the door.

Solar didn't like the way her stomach almost flipped with just a single smile. She hates the way Moonbyul always let her have her way. She dislikes the way Moonbyul was just always so nice to her; so gentle.

Sometimes Yongsun wishes Moonbyul would get mad at her. She didn't deserve the way Solar talked to her, but instead of lashing out she's giving Solar her space. It would be much easier for Solar's heart if Moonbyul would stop being so...lovable.

"Aren't you going to rest too?" Solar asked. She was hoping they would end this day cuddling in her bed, it helps her sleep at night knowing that tomorrow will be better.

"I'm not tired yet." Byul replied with a weak smile before leaving the room.

----------------------

Its been at least 3 hours since Moonbyul left their room; 3 hours since Moonbyul's words started to play on repeat in Solar's mind. It's been 2 and a half hours since Solar searched for her in the extent of their dorm but she failed to find her best friend.

She contemplated whether to call her or not but she thought that maybe they needed space.

"I'm not tired yet."

She knows Moonbyul wanted to convince her that she's fine but the other girl failed to hide the exhaustion in her voice.

The push-and-pull dynamics of their relationship really is tiring, but she really did hope Moonbyul could endure it...until she's ready- if she'll ever be ready. She really isn't sure.

So she didn't stop Moonbyul from leaving even though she wanted to, so bad. It wouldn't be fair; Solar recognizes that. So she laid on her bed, alone for the first time in a long time; she didn't expect her own bed to be that cold.

Maybe things would be different if she would just stop being a coward for one second. But Yongsun couldn't just push away her thoughts that haunt her every night. She couldn't help but be afraid of the talks and the looks that people might throw her way.

Maybe in another time, or in another universe, maybe it will be easier for them. But in this world, right now, where she worked so hard to be where she is now; she couldn't afford being brave.

---------

A/N:

I just live angst you guys. Hope you like this chapter. Thanks for reading.