Vincenzo's Lover

"Why?"

My eyes widened a little and she sat on the edge of my bed. "You're pregnant?"

There was no point lying. I sniffed before nodding. "Is that why you've been so sad?" I nodded and she shook her head, looking at me. "Cat, why? A baby is a blessing. Is it because you're still uni? Who cares, it's-"

I interrupted her by beginning to sob. Her face softened and she leaned over, hugging me as I cried in her arms. "Cat?" I continued to cry, my body shaking and my mind thinking of what happened.

"Caterina, darling, please. What's going on?" She asked, pulling away and wiping my cheeks as I sniffed, hiccuping. "Mama. ." I whispered and her face softened even more, her eyes getting teary. "Cat, honey, you're scaring me." More tears ran down my cheeks and I shook my head, covering my face. "I-I'm p-pregnant. ."

"I know, dear, but what's wrong? Do you not want the baby? Is it the father - who's the father?"

I uncovered my face, breathing heavily and crying. I started shaking my head but couldn't stop. I was hyperventilating, shaking and crying. I was having a panic attack.

She was talking to me, telling me to calm down, to breathe in and out but I couldn't. My mind was telling me that I couldn't.

Breathe

Breathe

Breathe

Isn't that what I'm doing?

"Can't. ." I breathed out, still panicking. "Mama. .I can't b-breathe. .I'm going to. .to die. ."

"Cat. ." I heard her say, taking my hands and looking into my teary eyes. "Calm down, baby. In and out slowly, in and out."

I listened to her soothing voice, my breathing pattern slowing down and returning to it's normal pace after time.

She pulled me into a hug, kissing my cheek. "Cat, please tell me what's wrong?"

I pulled away, looking into her eyes with tears in mine. "I was. ." I shook my head, wiping my eyes as more tears came and my breathing pattern started to speed up again only to be slowed down by my mother, calming me down.

I exhaled slowly, wiping my eyes and sniffing. "I was. ." I looked at my mother's kind and concerned eyes. I couldn't say the word. I felt like like I was going to throw up.

"Mama, I was . . he . ." I sighed, covering my face and exhaling slowly. Why can't I say it.

I moved my hands away quickly and forced the words out. "I was raped."

There was a moment of silence where I stared at my hands, unable to meet her eyes.

Then I heard her crying. I looked up to see her hands covering her face while she sobbed, her body shaking.

I swallowed, ". .mu-mum?"

She then unexpectedly pulled me into a hug, crying. I hugged her back, closing my eyes. No tears came out for me. I must have used them up. I just sat there hugging her and allowing her to cry for me.

It was a while until she pulled away and gazed at me, wiping her eyes. "Oh, Cat." I looked away, blinking back the tears in my eyes. I hesitated before saying, "it hurt. .a lot. ." I started, sniffing. I swallowed before continuing, "I came out of the shower a-and a man - a man from d-dad's work was in there-"

"From your dad's work?" She asked, her voice filled with surprise and I nodded, sniffing.

"He called me beautiful, just like you," I bitterly said, thinking about him. "Then he put his dirty hands on me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away b-but then he grabbed me and t-took off my towel," I explained, my voice cracking as tears ran down my cheeks. "H-He threw me on the bed and took away my virginity forcefully." I was crying by then, unable to see properly because of my tears. "He thought I liked it. That I liked it. No, I didn't. I screamed and screamed and screamed but no one could hear me. I was alone."