When It Comes To You |j.k

34: 愛菈

"I need to go to the bathroom."

It's four o'clock now, meaning that it was time to leave. But I still haven't gotten what I came here for. I was occupied from the start to the end, by both the children and the staff. I was even pulled to the side by the reporters for an interview that was not at all in the schedule. It seems weak for the boss of such a big company to feel this, but it gets a bit too much sometimes. All the people, all the attention, all the camera flashes. It makes you want to hide sometimes.

But I pushed through a whole hour of it, and now it's time to leave. I am aware of the tight schedule so I simply cannot be truthful about this. So like a child, I make up an excuse to buy myself time to look for her.

Her.

I don't even need to say her name.

In my life, there's only one her.

Her.

Just simply her.

"Sir, maybe you can go after we've arrived at the company?" Jun suggested with his eyes to his watch.

I shake my head, "I need to go now."

He sees the determination in my eyes and droops his shoulders with a sigh, "Very well. Please go then."

I know where the bathroom is. But never the less I start to wander around the orphanage, walking down all the hallways and peering into every room. Jun is following closely behind, doing his job well as always. At a time like this, I'd rather have him slack off and leave me alone.

"Sir, I believe I just saw a bathroom right around the corner we passed?"

I shake my head, "I don't think that one has toilet paper."

He furrows his eyebrows at me, but I dismiss the look. There's one more room that I wish to check before I give in and admit to this defeat that I've missed my chance to see her. In all honesty, I don't even know if she's in this orphanage. We're both adults now, maybe she left and already moved away with a whole different life and a whole different job. Maybe for the past three years, I've really been holding on to pure nothing.

Maybe she's really gone.

But even if I'm just holding onto false hope, I'll grasp onto it tightly nevertheless. Even if this percentage is lower than one would wish, as long as it's not zero, it's worth holding on to.

"Maybe this room has a better bathroom."

I speak with my tears forming around my eyes. If I don't see her today I'm going to fucking lose it.

"Sir, we're really on a tight schedule. I don't mean to speak so rudely to you on your birthday, but could you please just compromise with the bathroom we found?"

I've never craved for his absence as much as I do now.

"Jun, just give me a minute-"

"Stop cleaning! Help me with this one please?"

I whip my head towards the room after hearing the voice of a young child. This wasn't the only room with the bright voices of children. There was just simply nothing that made this room more significant than the other ones before. But somehow, as if there were two strings attached to both my legs, I was pulled inside without a second say.

I swallow, hands shaking in the pockets of my dress pants. I try to keep a low profile as I nervously crept into the room full of children.

"Alright alright, it's rare to see you so passionate about homework."

I look to see a woman with a young girl. The woman is smiling widely as she walked to put the broom down against the wall. The little one pulled on her long skirt again and again to gain her attention.