On the Loose // niall horan

t h r e e

By the time we reached the flat, my head is still throbbing, not because of the alcohol but because of the humiliation Mr Niall James Horan handed out to me. Should I attend their parties more? Even if I've got invitations? Well of course I'll go. Why wouldn't I right? I've been sitting on the couch for a good 30 minutes now, when somebody barged inside the flat. Rolling my eyes, I've already discerned who it was.

"Why didn't you tell me you're leaving? I've been looking like a fool searching for you there Izzy, what happened? What happened that you suddenly left the party?" Joaquin. He sat beside me and asked questions delicately.

"Nothing and it's none of your business anyway. If you're looking for me and I wasn't there, then why didn't you called my phone? I mean, you just have to press call and I'll answer. Right? It's not my fault you looked like a fool there if you have another option though."

Wandering my eyes around the flat, it halted towards a bookshelf. I was shocked that my feet brought me face to face with the shelf, picking out a random book, it's title read as Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare. I feel like it's such a good book though, I should read it. Walking back to the couch, Joaquin's attention turned towards me astonished to what I am holding.

"Hmm, seems like you're beginning to enter the world of Shadowhunters yeah? It's a good read though." I raised my brows and thought, has he read it? A lad like him doesn't really read books that are thick like this.

"Have you read it? No offence, I didn't thought you're a reader Joaquin." He smiled and flashed his pearly white teeth and nodded.

I opened the book and turned to the first page, starting to read the novel. It turns out that I'm starting to love the book and I can't stop reading it.

Los Angeles, 2012

Shadow Market nights were Kit's favorite.

They were the nights he was allowed to leave the house and help his father at the booth. He'd been coming to the Shadow Market since he was seven years old. Eight years later he still felt the same sense of shock and wonder when he walked down Kendall Alley through Old Town Pasadena toward a blank brick wall-and stepped through it into an explosive world of color and light.

As I continued to read, Joaquin settled his arm on my shoulder. Completely ignoring him, I went on reading again for a good 2 hours. As I closed the book, I can't believe I've read 6 chapters in just two hours. I'm getting hooked to this book actually.

"You tired?" Joaquin opened his phone again and typed something I can't see. His phone has tinted screen so I can't see what he's been up to, if and only if I won't borrow his phone. I nodded and rested my head on his shoulders, maybe I'll think about dumping Joaquin. To be honest, he really is the best lad I've dated.

"Let's go to Starbucks then. Come on Izzy." I let him grab me towards outside, well I could get coffee though. Outside, his Hyundai Accent was parked in front of our flat. Where could my flatmates be right now? Asleep probably. Looking at my outfit, gray hoodie, black leggings and black Gucci slippers. Gladly, I've got time to change my party outfit.

Climbing into his car, I placed my feet towards the dashboard. When he started the engine, I sat properly. But out of boredom, I opened the glove compartment. After I opened it, I immediately regretted what I have done. There placed between his extra shirts, was a gun. My eyes widened as I looked at him.

"Joaquin.. Why do you have.. a gun in your compartment?"

"What? Oh that, well umm it's just-"

"Why do you have a gun in your compartment!?" I can't control my emotions right now. Yes, I'm a rebel type of girl but no, I don't like guns. When I was still 17, I encountered a bad experience leading it to a trauma.

"It's for the both of us Izzy, for protection! Just in case something bad happens then I'm going to be ready. It's okay, I'm not going to use it for something stupid. Don't worry now come on, let's go and get coffee."

Nodding, I went out of his car. Maybe he's right though, he's still got a point there. But how long? How long did he kept this as a secret from me? You know, this is the first time I felt scared around my boyfriends. On Monday, I swear I'll dump him.

Once we showed up inside the store, I ordered a Caffé Latte. Sitting on a couch near the window, I thought about my plan. First when I enter campus, I'll attend class and then on break time, I'll look for Joaquin and dump him. Easy as that.

"Thank you for the treat Joaquin. I should get inside now." Faking a smile, I hugged him and let him kiss my cheek.

"No problem Izzy, yeah you should go inside now. I love you."

"Yeahhh." Speeding through the flat, I went straight inside my bedroom. Wandering throughout the space, I'm surprised that I have a bookshelf filled with books!

My bedroom is not that much, black and white paint, fluffy bed with white sheets and pillows. Bookshelves lining the walls, and my matte black MacBook placed on my work desk. It's pretty modern though, it's because I love black and white. Even the things inside my closet and cabinets, still black and white.

Rummaging through one particular cabinet, I found a family picture. My mum, my dad, Luke; my older brother, and me. All of us were smiling, just like every family. I stared at Luke, tears forming in my eyes, it's because he died 2 years ago.

The memory of that incident flashed again. I can't help but cry and placed the framed picture on my desk, even though it hurts like hell. Still, I can't help but blame myself until today.

▪ flashback ▪

"Do not come out unless I tell you so! Get it?" Luke whispered towards me and I nodded, crying. He peered towards the door and cursed.

"What is happening? Tell me Luke! Where is mum and dad?" I tugged at his shirt, tears still streaking my face.

"Izzy, it's not safe here. I need you to calm down and stay quiet. There are robbers inside the house and they've got a gun with them. Be quiet okay?" Nodding again, I sat on the foot of the bed shifting because I don't know what to do.

No time wasted, he went outside to grab the phone. I whispered his name, but he didn't turned to look at me. Instead, he closed the door leaving me behind.

I don't know what to do! Luke is the only one there with robbers, then I must do something. Without hesitation, I followed him outside.

He's standing in the hallway, dialling someone from the telephone. When I went running for him, I heard a gunshot behind me. I shouted in terror, Luke hugging me and trying to calm me down.

"Why are you here! I told you to stay inside." I cried in his shoulders, but when I moved my head up, I saw one of the robbers pointing a gun towards us.

Luke was still hugging me, trying to shield me and knowing what will happen. I tried to pull him away from me but he was too strong, his back facing the two men in black.

Then there was a gunshot. I opened my eyes and saw Luke's once white shirt, turned red with blood. He's shot! Right in his heart.

"Lukeeee! No! Get up! I need you to get up, come on! Luke don't do this! You need to ve taken from the hospital. Luke, damn you!" There was nothing I could do, he was only 19. Too young to die and there was nothing I could do.

"Izzy.." Was the last thing he said.

▪end of flashback▪

The memory from the past still haunts me today. I can't stop in blaming myself. If only I listened, if only I didn't followed him, he is still alive today.

I sobbed, forming a flood of tears in my desk while holding the family photo. I hugged it even more.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Luke, I love you 'till infinity."