Refuge

Chapter 34

Press play on the video ^ as yu read this for that extra affect!!!

*Ella*

Once I was aware of my surroundings it was obvious I was in a hospital bed, past experience and the environmental context was a simple give away.

"Great!" the nurse stood up from beside me. "We've been waiting on you, due to patient confidentiality, we couldn't pass your information on without your knowledge. The man outside, isn't family I'm assuming?"

I rubbed my head lightly and took a breath "What?" Unable to support her with what she was after.

"Sorry, I should go easy as you've just woken. Would you like a short summary before I get in detail?"

I nodded.

"You're 6 weeks pregnant"

I sat up instantly, causing my head to spin lightly "Sorry?"

"You're 6 weeks pregnant and the reason you're here is because you're overpowering your body with stress and not enough nutrition, your baby-"

"What baby?!" I gasped.

"I'm sorry" the nurse apologised "I should call the Doctor"

"Wait" I sighed "Please make sure this stays between us"

She nodded, leaving.

I felt my body shake, I held my hands up towards my face and watched myself shake in fear.
I was heating up quick, covered in goosebumps and painful thoughts.

"I'm not sure Doctor-" The nurse walked in with a old man in a white coat.

"Mariella" the Doctor stood beside me, "You're looking fine. A few more check ups and we might not keep you overnight-"

"What baby?" I was quick to ask, ignoring comments about me.

"You're 6 weeks pregnant, when was your last period?"

I shook my head "My period isn't...the normality. I usually skip a month and when it comes it lasts 3-4 days"

"I see, must be why you didn't know you were pregnant, I'm assuming?"

I nodded. "I want an abortion"

The doctor coughed in a quick gasp, "I'm sorry?"

"I want an abortion"

"Abortions are best carried out 8 to 12 weeks in. You have just found out you're pregnant, take a few weeks to decide-"

"I want-"
I stopped as soon as the room door opened, panting I saw Josh walk in and ask the Doctor for a few minutes alone. The doctor and his nurse left the room as Josh shut the door and walked towards me.

I couldn't bare the thought of me having a child with a man who was abusive.
My first instinct was to burst out crying and that's exactly what happened.

"Hey-"
Josh let out a hand.

"Go away" I sobbed, laying down on my side, pulling my legs up to my chest and curling myself into a ball.

"Ella"

"I said go away" I whispered.

"At least tell me what's wrong"

Everything. Everything was wrong and having another innocent soul inside of me was another reason to hate him more.

"Ella"

"Go away Josh!" I yelled, leaving my back towards him.

"Hey," Josh walked around the hospital bed to my side, "Look at me" he stood beside me.

"No" I sobbed, looking at the ground as tears rolled down my face.

Josh squat down to my level and his eyes met deeply within mine.
"Ella"

I looked at the lost soul of his within his eyes, wondering if this baby did make it out, was his dark grey eyes going to match? Is his love for darkness going to overpower the little heart?

"I hate you" I whispered,

"No you don't" Josh shook his head, placing a hand onto mine that rested out onto the bed.

I pulled my hand away and tucked it beneath the bed sheet. "I truly hate you for..."

"For?" He gulped.

He couldn't know. "I hate you, Josh" I spoke from my heart. I hated him for putting me in such a position to lose a child with both options, death or life.

"Ella" Josh gulped once more.

I shook my head as I remained laying down on my side, curled. "I hate you" I whispered"

"Ella, please-" Josh's voice seemed weak.

I took a deep breath and dug my chin into my chest, hiding myself in this imaginary cocoon, unable to realise my hands pressed against my stomach tightly.

"Okay" Josh nodded "Okay" he stood up.
Sniffing a few times, all I could see were his black suit shoes as I kept myself hidden. "Okay" he repeated before walking away from beside me.
His footsteps were heard a few more seconds before the door clicked and then shut.

I turned around to lay on my back and cried aloud.
My jaw dropping and my tears echoing through the hospital wards.

The door thundering open, as a few nurses and the doctor rushed in.

"Mariella"

I continued sobbing my heart out, thinking maybe this unborn child was already crying his heart, begging to live yet begging not to be consumed within darkness.

"Mariella" the doctor gasped "Hold her!"

The nurse grabbed my hand, attempting to calm me with her unhelpful words as my sobs overpowered her voice.
"Hold her tightly" the doctor demanded as the other nurse grabbed my ankle.

I wiggled and sobbed louder, before feeling a sharp pinch at my wrist. Then, my body felt weak and my sobs eased.

My head fell to the side lightly, taking one last glimpse at the door, watching Josh stand there with his hand within his pocket, as one ran across his face...wiping away a unseen tear beneath his red, lifeless eyes.

Darkness..

______________________

i'm on sight as a nurse, so sorry for the long wait and short update. I truly am trying.
I apologise once more.

Thank yu

Mia x