seungjin ― limerence [✓]

sm ― 5

The moon wasn't quite as same as the mountain.

on the mountain i was surrounded by trees and animals, i had the fresh running stream, the village and the sunset to watch.

and the traveling boy.

but the moon, was quiet. he didn't like colours very much and stayed a minimal as he could.

so i sit, in a white box.

no windows to watch the sunset.

no birds to listen to.

no hyunjin.

i thought a lot in the small white box; overthinking was something i had never done with the mountain.

because he didn't want me to think about consequences. or to think about what will happen tomorrow.

but the moon wanted me to think of the consequences, wanted me to think about what i would do tomorrow-

when i finally get to see the traveling boy, surrounded by darkness as the moon watches quietly at what i do.

i can hear the mountain crying sometimes. but the cry sounds like a voice i was infatuated with, a voice which keeps me thinking in the small white box.

a voice i could never have.

" i know,
moon,
that you do not
want me to be
happy
with the
traveling boy.
but why
does that
bring me pain? "

「 h 」

The moon watched sadly
at his story unfolding again
in the form of two boys,
who had to bear their pain.

He wanted to try and prevent it.

So he locked the boy away,
no memory of the boy
he could never have.

But the few memories he had kept him thriving.

And it wouldn't let him breath.

As this wasn't love,
it was far from love
but every time their voice speaks in your mind
you hope it is love
but it's not
and you're just watching over someone
who you can't have
and that makes you angry
because you deserve that person
but that thought never stops
screaming at the back of your head,
scratching at your insides
with claws of agony
and rips your heart to shreds keeping
it in your palm for you to hold
but never can you give it
to the person you want to
because you can never have them,
that thought keeps going
like an endless storm
never stopping for you
because you are no longer you
but just a version of you
held back by the strings of fate
and never able to reach out
and ask for the person's love
because you are just the thought
that obsesses over the person
you could never have.

It was limerence.

Just as he had felt before.

But it would destroy him, so it could never be.

┃and this is where, it really begins.
┃19/04/18