Liberty Star

Confronting Momma

The following week was horrific, going over and over all the details. Honestly I was just so freakin' exhausted. Most nights during the week I just went on up to my room to bed, grabbing a bite to eat along the way just so I wouldn't feel too sick to my stomach. I didn't even noticed that I had been losing weight, seems like I would be the same or at least gain some considering I am eating more now that I have my whole life.

By the time Friday came around, I just wanted to stay home in bed. However I didn't; that's the day everything went down.

I drag myself out of bed, after the fact that Mrs. Shaw had already came to my room to get me up twice. She has breakfast ready of course but I am running late and so I grab a banana and a cereal bar from the table.

By the time we enter the court room, everyone else is already there. I am asked to go to the witness stand again..dear lord when will this all be over.

"Star do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I have been," I pause then state, "I swear."

"Star we talked already with Storm, he has admitted to everything. We need you to confirm the story." The lady lawyer smiles sarcastically I might say.

'No he wouldn't do that; we made a promise to never tell a soul. Wait did he really confess, no way, he wouldn't do that. Uhm! Maybe she is just trying to get me to confess. What do I do? What if I lie, what if I tell the truth, what if...'

"Star."

"What did he say?" I ask.

"Well for starters, he admitted to killing Jackson. He said it was self defense. But you see there are a few holes in his story and we know you were there. Star just tell the truth already so we can settle this."

"I don't know what to tell you?"

"How about starting from the time he started hurting you?"

"You know that already, I been telling y'all this every day, but you just don't want to listen." Yes I give her attitude, but dang it's like talking to that back wall and it ain't listening to a darn thing I'm saying here.

"I meant when he started to molest you Star, did he go farther than that, sexually?"

Alright, I wasn't expecting her to come right out and say that and she wants me to answer. I have all these people staring at me and there's my momma sitting, watching to see what I have to say. I try to hold back the damn tears; I will not let them get to me. I'm not ready to talk about that, not now, not here.

Then that damn lady just won't shut the hell up, "Star we have talked with your mother, she denies anything ever happening between any of you kids. She stated that Jackson was a very nice father to all of you. Helped ya'll out a lot over the years."

And that's when it pisses me off, the fact that no matter what I ever say, my momma will never believe me. I look over at her for a long time and she finally looks up and we stare at each other for a few seconds. I was trying to get a vibe from her, anything for crying out loud, but nothing. I lost my momma a long time ago, today I lost her for good. This will be the last time that I ever confront her. So I start talking, why because I need her to know, to know the freakin' truth and my eyes never leaves hers the whole time.

"When you were passed out, wasted from whatever you were on, the alcohol, the drugs whatever it was you were on, when he was done with you, he came to me. You couldn't satisfy his needs because you were always out of it." She glances away for a second then back up to me. "I had just turned thirteen and he said, 'how nice it is that you're a young woman now; I been waiting a long time.' Told me he could make me feel good all over and I deserved to feel good. At first it was just touching you know, like under my shirt then under my bra and down my panties, just touching. I started to lose count of all the times he came to my room. The more he came to my room the farther he went. I was threatened, and I knew if I said anything he would go after her next."