THE BIG BAD

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JESSICA

It's been a few days since the trip to the zoo. We all decided to do a crash course in overcoming some of our greatest fears. They found endless amusement at the fact that I'm scared of cows. ' So we took a trip to a local dairy farm. They made me touch a cow. I almost pissed myself when I took a hesitant step toward one. She only looked at me with curiosity, but I saw a murderous gaze. I just knew she was going to trample me, but in the end she didn't. I can't believe that I touched a cow. She smelled like a barnyard, but I'm sure that's to be expected. Turns out they are quite docile creatures, and I can't believe I was ever scared of such a sweet animal. I even earned a lick up the side my cheek. It was really gross, but sweet, too. I got root beer and cotton candy flavored milk out of the deal, though, so that was cool.

The guys all did their own stuff to overcome fears, but there was one we all had that none of us would be able to overcome; the loss of a family member. I remember all too easily the emotions I felt after losing Kriss, and there's no way I would be able to go through that again. I couldn't lose another person in my life to violence. We figured, if the demon decided to use that fear against us, we would just force ourselves to remember that it isn't real.

So here we are. Gearing up for the big fight. I can tell the guys are reluctant to let me do this, much like the last time. We don't know what kind of battle ground we'll be on since we're going into her head. We've come up with a pretty good battle plan, but this huge unknown will force us to have to make last minute changes, and I'm scared that what we came up with won't work out at all.

Castiel has gone and retrieved Death's scythe from Dean and Sam, and now we're all standing around the guys' living room.

"Are we ready to do this?" Dane asks us. Leo answers with a short nod of his head.

"Fuck yes!" Sam yelled excitedly, pumping a fist in the air. Somebody's a little blood thirsty. I just grin and shake my head.

"As ready as I'll ever be. At least I know she won't be throwing cows at me like a scene from Twister." I say with a grin. The guys all laugh.

Castiel comes from the kitchen carrying four cups with the ADR mixture in it. I hope to hell this is the last time I ever have to drink this stuff, especially with demon essence in it. We all grimace as we drink down the sulfuric concoction, then settle into our chosen seats. Castiel is going to stay and watch over our unconscious bodies, and make sure no harm comes to them while we are so vulnerable. I close my eyes and settle in between Sam and Leo. It isn't long before I'm out cold.

I open my eyes and look around. Nothing but grass as far as the eye can see. We're in a giant field. There's not a tree or rock to be seen for miles. It's unsettling having this much open space around me. It's actually quite suffocating and makes me feel infinitesimal. I glance around as all my guys start appearing around me, Dane holding the scythe close to him.

"Okay. Remember we can manipulate the space, too. She set us up so we couldn't use anything in the surrounding vicinity." Leo says, looking around.

"Do any of you feel as small as I do with all this open space?" I ask, tugging the collar of my shirt away from my throat. "I feel like I'm suffocating." This was something we had talked about. Making sure we communicated things we were feeling, so we didn't have to deal with it alone.

"It sounds like you're a little agoraphobic." Dane says, coming over to me and wrapping me up in his embrace. "Just concentrate on what's in your immediate view, and try to avoid glancing out of our little circle." He runs his hands up and down my back. Locked in his embrace, my eyes closed, I start to feel better. I lean up and place a chaste kiss to the underside of his chin.

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