A Smile Can Hide Anything

Chapter 2

~Dan's POV~

This morning I woke up emotionless, I didn't want to wake up. I sat up in my bed and looked at my wrist. A bit of the blood was gone, but I was still sore there. I quickly changed into a black sweater and some ripped jeans. I stared out the window and saw the busy streets of London. I never could stand people. I walked quietly rubbing both of my eyes down the corridor to get to the kitchen. I made a pot of coffee and sat down to stir the sugar in.

Phil arrived looking sad like he's been hurt. ¨Good Morning¨ I said quietly. Phil just waved his hand. He grabbed some coffee as well and came to sit down at the table across from me. ¨Dan?¨ Phil said making me look up from stirring my coffee. ¨Would you tell me if you weren't alright?¨ He asked. ¨Yeah, I suppose.¨ I said putting my spoon down. Phil stopped taking a sip of coffee when I said that. ¨What do you mean 'Yeah, I suppose'?¨ He asked sounding bitter. ¨I just meant yes.¨ I said quickly trying not to start an argument. ¨Okay then Dan¨ Phil said taking another drink. ¨Are you okay? I don't want a lie either.¨ I looked up quickly with an emotionless look. ¨Yes¨ I said sternly. ¨Are you sure?¨ Phil asked once again. ¨Oh my God Phil! Yes, I'm alright! Just like I told you last night!¨ I said sinking into my chair. ¨You lied to me last night, and you're lying to me right now.¨ Phil said making me sit up straight. ¨You're lying to me Daniel, why can't you just tell me the truth?¨ He asked yelling at me now. ¨I am telling the truth, Phil! Why do you think I'm not okay?¨ I asked yelling at him back. ¨Because¨ He started. ¨I saw you crying last night, and check your wrists. Somebody that's okay does not do that!¨ He said sympathetically.

I stood up and ran to my room slamming the door behind me. I sat down on my bed and put my hands on my face and began to cry. A few seconds later Phil arrived into my bedroom and sat next to me on my bed. ¨Dan, I'm sorry I'm pressuring you. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to.¨ He rubbed my back and got up to leave. ¨Wait,¨ I said putting my hand out. Phil looked back at me. ¨I'm ready to talk.¨ Phil grew a smile on his face and came back to sit next to me. ¨Alright, I'm all ears¨ He said putting his hand on my knee. ¨I have terrible depression,¨ I began. ¨And I'm scared to ask for help because I don't want to put a heavy burden on somebody that doesn't need it. I'm really depressed, scared, have bad anxiety and social anxiety and I always feel alone. I feel like I don't deserve the right to have depression because so many other people have worse lives than me.¨ I looked up at Phil. ¨Do you want me to stop right there?¨ ¨Do you want to stop there?¨ He asked. I could tell he really cared about me. ¨And I'm facing a huge dilemma in my life, that I'm facing on my own.¨ Phil looked at me with loving eyes. ¨Dan, I'm here for you. You don't have to face this alone, I'm here for you please know that I'm right across the hall if you need me anything, anytime.¨ I tackled him with a hug putting my arms around his neck. I didn't want this moment to end, he's so special to me. ¨Dan?¨ He started again. I looked up at him. ¨Is there anything else you want me to know? And know I'll never freak out on you and there's nothing ever too big for me to handle.¨ I took a deep breath and let go of our hug I put my arms on my lap. I pulled up my left sleeve to reveal my scars. Phil looked at me and put his hands on my scars. ¨It's okay Dan¨ he said in a comforting tone. He lifted up his hands and kissed my scars, at this moment I knew he was going to be my everything. Phil hugged me again and kissed my forehead then walked out of the room.

~Phils POV~

Dan has alot of stress going on right now, and he needs somebody to be there for him. And I'll make sure I'm that person that helps him. I walked quickly to the bathroom and looked through the drawers for bandages and the Vasoline. While I was looking I saw the razor he was using. It had a bit of dried blood on it. I started to tear up. I kept looking for the bandages and Vasoline than I saw them. The bandages had superhero comics on them.

I walked back up to Dan's room and saw he was staring at the ceiling. He smiled when I opened the door. He sat up crisscrossing his legs as I sat across from him on his bed. ¨Let me see your wrist¨ I said. ¨Don't worry¨ I said smiling. He lifted up his sleeve. I put the Vaseline across the cuts and carefully placed the bandages on them. Dan laughed.¨Nice bandages¨ He said sarcastically. ¨Ha, yeah sorry.¨ I said giving an awkward smile scratching the back of my head. ¨Oh well.¨ He said shrugging his shoulders. His laugh and smile gave me life. I wondered if mine gave him that same feeling. ¨Well, I'm gonna go watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer¨ I said. ¨But- Oh never mind that idea. I want to spend time with you.¨ I said. I could see Dan smiled and his face get really red when I said this. ¨I feel special.¨ He said. ¨You are.¨ We both blushed.

I really loved him. ¨Hey Dan,¨ I said. ¨He looked up red in the face still. ¨I'm going to share something with you, I haven't told anybody this¨ He scooted closer to me. ¨I'm all ears.¨ ¨I'm was having a dilemma myself, I had nobody to talk to as well, but today I'm pretty sure I don't have a dilemma.¨ Dan looked me in the eyes. ¨If you don't mind me asking.¨ He asked carefully. ¨What was your dilemma?¨ I took a deep breath like he did before. ¨I was questioning my sexuality, but today I think I found my answer.¨ I said. ¨I am Bi¨ I said this carefully. Dan looked relieved with a red face again.¨Is that weird?¨ I asked. ¨Not at all¨ He said. ¨Phil?¨ He asked. ¨Yes, Dan?¨ I said smiling. ¨I am Bi as well.¨ I got really hot I began to tear up. I think he loves me too. But what if he didn't? There is a possibility. After all, he is Bi just like me. Dan looked down at his feet. I could tell he was smirking, but crying as well. ¨Dan? What's wrong?¨ He hugged me tight putting his arms around my neck. ¨You're too special for this world.¨ He said crying into my shoulder. I kissed his forehead. ¨Daniel,¨ I said. He looked up. ¨That's how I feel about you.¨