Regret Me Not | 김석진

Seventeen

Victoria couldn't sleep. An awful, wretched feeling twisted her stomach in ways that made it impossible for her to even close her eyes. The feeling was laced with dread and even Jin's arm wrapped tightly around her waist did nothing for it. It prevented him from sleep as well, as he could feel how tense she was in his arms.

"Baby," he mumbled tiredly into her hair. "Are you okay?"

She blinked for what seemed like the first time in hours, the crisp autumn air burning her eyes. "No. I don't know what's happening but I'm so anxious I can't stand it."

Jin sighed and placed soft kisses to the dip between her neck and shoulder. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't think so," she replied miserably. "But thank you."

Victoria gently pulled out of his grip and sat up. "I'll get some water or something. Be right back."

Her boyfriend only nodded as she slipped downstairs to the kitchen. The arch between the living and dining rooms only seemed to give way into a colder night, and when she passed through the kitchen door, it seemed to heighten her anxiety further.

The lights were off just like in the other parts of the penthouse, but her phone buzzed in her pajama pant pocket, which she had forgotten was even there.

She grabbed it urgently and answered. "Hello?"

"Noona?" The deep yet panicked voice quivered on the other line as if about to break.

Her heart wrenched. "Taehyung—what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

He swallowed hard. "Namjoon hyung and I...we're at the police station."

"The police station?!" she yelled, suddenly furious instead of concerned. "What did you do?!"

"Well, we were tagging and—"

"Of course you were!" she cut him off.

Taehyung sighed. "Noona, please try to understand...we need you to come get us. And don't tell Jin hyung!"

"Unbelievable..." she muttered. "Fine. Which station?"

The line was silent for a few moments. "Gangnam."

"Why were you tagging in such an upscale neighborhood?!"

She knew Taehyung flinched on the other line before continuing. "Noona—"

"Stay right there. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Victoria hung up without another word and quickly passed through the dining room to grab her car keys in the living room. The dark wood floor creaked slightly as she slipped on some shoes and ran out the door.

During the drive, a million thoughts ran through her mind. How could they do this? What if they were put in prison? What if Namjoon got fired?

The Seoul skyline twinkled with whites and grays as she sped down the near-empty streets. Since it was past midnight, the only people out were business tycoons drunkenly stumbling out of hostess bars and college kids leaving the underground drug scene before classes started.

Once the station came up on her right, she swerved into the parking lot and slammed her car door as she exited the vehicle.

Inside, she said nothing. She only took the necessary steps to take the boys, who sat pitifully in the jail cell with a few others.

On the drive to Namjoon's place, she still refused to speak. She didn't even look at them. Her head was straight, eyes focused intensely on the road, knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.

Once she stopped the car, Taehyung immediately tried to get out of the backseat, but she locked the doors. They stared at her in dismay. Her glazed eyes flickered for a moment to the handsome, broken faces of two of her best friends.

Victoria looked away, knowing she was about to lose it. "How could you two..."

Namjoon sucked in a breath. "N—"

"How could you two be so stupid?!" Her voice cracked and she found herself turning her head all the way to the left so they couldn't see her cry.

In reality, the boys were so surprised at her tears that they found their own eyes becoming wetter by the minute.

"I mean," she continued, the lump in her throat sending sharp pains through her neck. "Taehyung, you already have a shitty life. Namjoon...why do you encourage his behavior?" She covered her eyes with one hand. "I don't understand...what if the police had kept you guys? This isn't the first offense! That's what they told me!"

"We're sorry," Taehyung mumbled.

Victoria took her hand away. "No, you're not," she threw over her shoulder. "You guys have to be more careful...if something happened to either one of you..." Her sobs began to shake her shoulders and she couldn't hold back. "Just..." She unlocked the doors, avoiding their gazes. There was no sound as the three sat in the car. Only the quiet breaths of Victoria's soft sobs penetrated the silence.

She felt a hand cover hers that was gripping the gear with so much force. Namjoon squeezed her hand and muttered a quiet, "I'm sorry."

The car shuddered as he exited, leaving her alone with Taehyung. For a few moments he did nothing. But then he leaned forward and nuzzled his head in the crook of her neck. "Sorry, Noona."

"Things will get better, Taehyung," she mumbled, making him stop.

"How do you know?" he retorted bitterly.

She shrugged. "I don't know, but I believe. And you have to as well. That's the only way you'll survive in this world." Her eyes still burned from the tears. "Seeing isn't always believing, but believing is always seeing."

Her words sent a shockwave through his entire being, leaving him speechless.

Victoria only sighed deeply as he left. All of the emotions that came with her new friendships were almost too much to bear. She recalled a few weeks back when the boys parked the truck in the middle of a large tunnel, blocking traffic that only went one way.

-

They got out of Jin's car, along with Iseul, and jumped on the hoods of strangers cars, threw drinks onto their windshield. Taehyung brought his spray paint and drew phallic symbols on them. That was all while Jin watched from inside, Victoria doing the same from beside him in the passenger's seat.

"How do you do it, Jin?" she asked quietly, eyes fixated on Jimin taunting one of the drivers.

He peered at her, a small smirk tugging his lips. "Do what?"

"How do you sit here—anywhere—and just watch your friends be crazy and stupid and young?"

Jin noticed how soft her brown eyes were as she looked at him, and he reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "Because they're more like family to me than my real one. And I want them to experience everything I couldn't." He sighed when she laced their fingers together. "I was so busy trying to make my parents proud that I missed out on my adolescence." His head turned back to the kids. "And isn't this what it's supposed to be like?"

Victoria would have responded, but the sound of sirens pierced the air, sending the boys and Iseul into shock. It didn't last long, as they began running toward the truck, which Jin quickly turned around for a quick getaway. It was all so new for her.

-

She stopped.

They weren't really new friendships anymore. It was October, and in only a few months it would be a year since she met them. Time seemed to forward so quickly with them. She wondered if Iseul felt the same way as she shifted into 'drive' and went home.  

-

Sorry for not updating. I got a job a work a lot so I have less time to write D: 

Thank you for the reads peeps it means a lot :')