I've Got What I Wanted

I've Got What I Wanted. Part 26

Heeeeyyyy! So what's it been, a week? give a couple of days :) But I've been busy. I've cleaned nearly my whole room. When I sort out my wardrobe and drawers, it weill be that first time my room has been comepletely cleaned since I moved into the room. Anyways, I've not got a lot to say really. I've already been off school for nearly two weeks and I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the summer. I know this summer is going to go by so quickly though. Where are you guys going for holiday? I'm going to Spain for two weeks :D Can't wait to get a good tan finally! But that's not until another four weeks. 
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Love you guys. Enjoy! (Sorry it's quite short.) 

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

“What do you want to do today?” Caleb asked from the bed. I looked over at him and shrugged. “We have to do something. We can’t just do nothing for the whole day.” I shrugged and walked over to him. I sat on the bed, crossing my legs in front of me. “Do you want to go for a walk? Then we can go get something to eat. I don’t want to sit in the house all day.” I looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah, sounds like a plan.” He smiled and slid closer to me.

“I don’t want to go home tomorrow. I like just chilling here.” I laughed, running my fingers through his hair.

“Well tough luck because we’re going home. We need to start getting things ready for the baby coming. We haven’t gotten anything or sorted anything out. We need to do some of that when we get home.” He nodded lying down on the bed, putting his head on my legs.

“We don’t need to get everything. We only need to sort a few things out. I think we should sort out the room first. That is unless we want him to sleep in our room.” I pouted my lips out slightly, thinking.

“I don’t know, I suppose it depends when he’s born. Right now I’d probably want him in our room for a while. You know just to make sure he’s okay. Do you know what I mean?” I looked down at him and he smiled.

“Yeah I feel the same way. We can still do up the spare room for him, for when we do move him into it.” I smiled playing with his hair between my fingers. “But I don’t want to paint it blue. It’s so boring that the room should be blue because he’s a boy.”

“Then what colour are you thinking of then?” I asked laughing slightly.

“I don’t know. Maybe green or yellow. I’m more in favour for green.” I nodded yawning slightly.

“Yeah, I’m happy with that. It’s just going to be so much work. That’s the only thing I’m worried about.” He smiled and pushed himself up onto his elbows.

“But you’re not going to be doing it all on your own. We can get some of it sorted over summer. And when I go back to work we have the weekends. I’m going to talk to Lucas about paternity leave when we go back. I think I’m entitled to two weeks or something like that.” I nodded resting my chin on my palm. “By the way your car will be fixed by the time we get back. So you can start driving again.” I smiled; really happy I can drive my own car again. I really miss driving.

“Good, at least I can go out now when you go back to work.” He laughed getting up from the bed.

“Well your car is the only one we can use when the baby is born.” I furrowed my eyebrows while turning to look at him.

“And why’s that?” He smiled pulling his t-shirt off. I really don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing him shirtless.

“Your car is the only one that can fit a car seat in it. And that we’ll be able to us for the baby.” I never thought about that before. “I’m going to go have a quick shower and then we’ll go. I’ll be ten minutes,” with the he walked over to the bathroom.

Just talking about what we need to do for the baby is scaring the crap out of me. I really don’t think that I can look after a baby. I’m still a child myself basically. What can I give him with no job, and no degree to get a job? I know Caleb’s got tonnes of money, but it’s not the same. I wouldn’t have the first clue about what do to. What if he starts crying? All babies cry and I wouldn’t have an idea of what to do. I'm not ready to look after a baby. I can barely look after myself. I know I've got Caleb to help and I know my mum will help, but I'm still scared. I fell back onto the bed, letting out a long breath. What the hell am I going to do?

"Are we not going out now?" Caleb laughed walking over to the wardrobe. 

"Hmm," I mumbled looking up at the ceiling 

"What's up?" I looked over at him, while he towel dried his hair. A towel was wrapped low on his waist, showing off the muscles on his back. 

"Nothing," he turned around and raised his eyebrows. "What?" He walked over to me and sat on the bed. 

"How long have we known each other?" I looked down at my hands and shrugged. "You do know," I sighed furrowing my eyebrows. 

"Five years," I mumbled looking at my hands. 

"Exactly, so I know you inside and out. I don't like seeing you when something is bothering you." He reached out and tucked my fringe behind my ear. He grabbed my chin between his fingers and thumb and made me look at him. "What's wrong?" I pulled away from him and looked down at my hands. "Is it all this baby stuff again?" I sighed and nodded. He moved so he was sitting beside me. "Talk to me Babe," he whispered rubbing my leg. 

"I'm just really scared. When we're talking about all this baby stuff, it just really freaks me out." He squeezed my leg, while I just looked down at my hands. 

"What's scaring you?" I shrugged putting my head in my hands. 

"Everything really," I lifted my head and looked at him. "Caleb, I can't look after a child. I'm going to mess it all up. Everything I do I'll be second guessing myself. Should I do this or was I meant to do that. When he cries, I won't know what to do. How do I know if he wants fed, or he just wants held, or if he's in pain? I can't look after a child Caleb." He sighed and pulled me into a hug. He tangled his right hand in my hair, while rubbing my back with his left. 

"It's okay," he said before kissing the side of my head. "You're bound to feel like that. I'm scared about that as well. But we'll figure it out; we always do."

"But what if I can't give him what he needs?" He stroked my hair trying to settle me. I was freaking out slightly. 

"He's going to be a baby. They don't need very much. They need food, warmth, a good home and two parents who love him. I think we can give him all of that. We can do this," I pulled away from him and stood up. 

"I don't know if I can," I said pacing. 

"Ri, honey, we can do it. We'll figure it all out. We'll know what he wants with practice." I nodded as he stood up. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "Don't stress about it okay?" I nodded, wrapping my arms around his back. "We'll just take each day as it comes. Gradually we'll get everything ready. And we've got your mum and Lucas if we need help. They know how to cope." He kissed the top of my head, while I closed my eyes. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, just another panic attack. I'm afraid about how I'm going to react when he's born." He laughed and gave me a gentle squeeze. 

"Well you do like to over think things." I smiled and nodded. "We'll be fine," I kissed his chest as something hit my feet. 

"You're towel just fell down," I tried not to laugh. 

"So it did," I tried pulling away, but Caleb was having none of it. I laughed looking up at him. 

"Can you let go so I can go?" He smirked and shook his head. 

"You've seen me naked before. This isn't anything different." I laughed putting my hands on his shoulders. I pulled myself up so I could kiss his cheek. 

"But we need to put clothes on this time, instead of taking them off." I pushed his shoulders and dipped under his arm. I smiled as he bent down to get the towel. He wrapped it around his waist and just stared at me. "What?" I felt self conscious, bring a hand up to my face. 

"Nothing," he said laughing. 

"Then why are you staring at me?" He smiled and shrugged. 

"I just like looking at you. Is that such a crime?" I blushed while looking away from him. "Anyway, you stare at me all the time." I finally looked up and shook my head. 

"No I don't. Why would I want to look at you?" He smirked, crossing his arms across his chest. 

"Because this," he said gesture to his face and body. "Is pure perfection Babe. You can't top this," I smirked and nodded. 

"Well you can actually. There's Bradley Cooper and Christian Bale. To be honest, the list is endless.” He laughed and nodded.