Broken Love //joshler [✔️]

11. Liaison

liaison
[lee-ey-zawn]
noun
a sexual relationship, especially one that is secret and involves unfaithfulness to a partner.

Tyler must've fallen asleep at some point, because he woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside. The sunlight hurt his eyes, but he rolled out of bed. His neck hurt; he must've slept on it wrong. With one look in the mirror, he realized how horrible he looked.

Tyler's eyes were still red and puffy from crying all night. He had dark bags and looked like he'd been to hell and back. Maybe he had.

It was Saturday, which meant Tyler would be home with Josh all day. They'd probably ignore each other, and avoid the other at all costs. Maybe Tyler could ask him for his card and he'd see if Elsa wanted to go grocery shopping. That sounded good to him.

He changed his clothes and ran his hands through his hair, hoping to tame the mess of fluff. When it looked good enough, Tyler unlocked the door. He expected it to fling open and for Josh to be there, but that didn't happen.

Tyler slowly opened the door, finding an empty hallway. With a sigh, he left the comfort of the bedroom and quietly shuffled downstairs. The house was eerily quiet, and Tyler hated it. Something seemed wrong. Did Josh ever come home last night?

Unfortunately, Tyler got his answer when he stepped foot in the living room. Josh was there, sleeping on the couch. Not only was Josh sleeping, but there was a woman laying on top of him. Their bottom halfs covered by a blanket, but Tyler could see the girl's and Josh's bare chests. There was an empty bottle of alcohol laying on the floor beside the sleeping bodies.

Tyler's heart snapped into a million pieces, and silent tears poured out of him. He didn't know how he could have any tears left to cry, but he did. He wanted to scream at them. He wanted to hurt that damn woman but he couldn't. It wasn't her fault. It was Josh's, and Tyler didn't want to believe that.

He choked back a sob, and tiptoed over to them. The woman was laying on Josh, her curly black hair sticking in every direction. Makeup was smudged over her face, and she had hickies littered over her neck. Tyler felt his heart tug. She was beautiful. She was everything Tyler wasn't.

He looked at Josh. There were so many purple and red hues scattered across his skin. His lips were swollen, and were red from the woman's lipstick. Tyler felt sick to his stomach.

Josh kissed this woman. Josh had sex with this woman. What if he loved her? Why wasn't Tyler enough?

The woman's eyes opened, suddenly, startling Tyler. He jumped back while she sat up and covered her chest with the blanket.

"Who are you?" she asked, and Tyler didn't know how to respond.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to run away. However, he simply just stood there like an idiot while he clutched his hand over his heart because he felt like he was going to die.

"Josh?" she shook the man. Josh's name sounded better when she said it. Everything about her was better. Tyler would never be as good as her.

Josh's eyes opened, and he smiled when he saw the woman. Tyler could tell he loved her. He looked at her the way Tyler wanted to be looked at. The sight made him want to throw up. He loved Josh. Josh thought he wasn't good enough.

"What is it?"

She pointed at Tyler, and Josh slowly met his eyes. Tyler was crying harder now, realizing Josh had forgotten he even existed. He wasn't important to Josh.

"Tyler."

Josh might as well have ripped his heart out and stomped on it because that was exactly how it felt. Tyler didn't say anything, he was sure the tears rolling down his cheeks was enough.

"Tyler, I..." he trailed off. He looked sad, but not necessarily guilty.

"I get it," Tyler spoke, finally. "She's beautiful, Josh. I hope you'll be happier."

As much as it killed him, he grabbed his phone off of the coffee table and left. He didn't look back, because he was afraid Josh wouldn't even be looking after him.

Tyler really wanted to take off running, but he didnt. He furiously wiped his tears with one hand while the other dialed Brendon's phone number.

"Hello?"

Tyler couldn't even answer, all he could do was cry.

"Tyler? Where are you? I'm coming, okay? It's okay, just tell me where you are."

"I-I'm at the e-nd of my str-reet," he hiccuped, shrinking down in embarrassment because the people that drove by were staring at him.

"I'll be right there, okay? Don't go anywhere. I'll be there soon."

Tyler hung up without answering. He sat beside the stop sign and pulled his knees to his chest, crying into his jeans. He couldn't stop repeating the same thing to himself.

He wasn't good enough.

He wasn't good enough.

He wasn't good enough.

As mad as he was at Josh, he was even more angry with himself. He still loved Josh. He wanted to run back there and be held by him. Tyler just wanted the nice Josh back.

Sometime later, a car pulled up to the stop sign. He heard someone get out, and arms closed around his shaking body.

"It's okay, Ty. I'm here now. I'm here."

Brendon's voice was comforting, but it wasn't Josh. Tyler hugged him, nevertheless, and cried into his chest. He was embarrassed for Brendon to see him in such a state like this, but it was too late for him to do anything about it. He was having a breakdown in his best friend's arms because Josh wasn't there for him. Again.

Brendon scooped him up and set him in the backseat. Tyler was glad. He could cry without Brendon seeing him. The latter was quiet the whole ride, but he'd turned on the radio. He knew Tyler wouldn't want it to be silent.

Once at Brendon's house, Tyler had finally stopped crying. He didn't know what he was feeling anymore. Numb, maybe. Brendon opened the car door for him and held his hand as the two walked inside.

"Do you want Dal and L to come over?" Brendon spoke, finally, leading Tyler to his bedroom.

The brunette only shook his head, climbing onto the bed beside Brendon. He stared at his lap while his brain thought about a million things per minute. What was Josh doing right now? What was he thinking? Was he looking for Tyler?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Tyler lifted his gaze find Brendon staring at him. He looked worried, and Tyler felt guilty. He was such a burden to everybody.

"I don't know," he said, his voice scratchy. "I think I want to die."

"What? Come on, Ty, don't say that. You don't want that, you just don't want to be hurting anymore."

And the only way that would happen is if I died, Tyler thought, but didn't say anything out loud.

"Do you want to smoke?"

As tempting as it sounded, Tyler shook his head no. He was afraid it would only make things worse. "I just want Josh."

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. At home, I think."

"Why'd you leave, then?"

"Because he doesn't want me."