Let Me Help // Kim Seungmin

14.

Jess Point Of View

Seungmin and I actually didn't speak the whole day. I don't know why he's like that usually he would talk to me thru out the whole class. Seungmin looked bothered but I wasn't one to ask him about it. I'm not his friend, all I am is a classmate that he was nice towards but that classmate just took it for granted.  

Funny how I'm talking to myself as if I wasn't the one at fault. I actually would've died just to get him to back away from my personal life. That day by the lockers I realized he was super nice and all but the fact that I hated was that he knew about Kyungah and the old me.

I wish I was the old me right now as if I was I would be able to talk to him even tho he hated me. What am I even thinking? Why am I acting like he is a huge part of my life and that I'm surprised about him suddenly backing off? I disappointed someone again and now I have to deal with it myself. He isn't Dave that I could easily text and talk to.

I was currently at Mr.Pinterson's office. I was about to have another therapy session with him. I wasn't even uncomfortable or anything which was quite surprising as I've only been here two other times if I remember correctly.

" So Jess, do you have any improvements? " Mr.Pinterson asked as he read thru his notebook.

"Actually no, I had an episode, " I said quietly looked out the window that was behind him, I wasn't able to make eye contact with him as I was pretty sure he would be disappointed in my lack of improvement.

He nodded his head and wrote it down, " Did the episode last 4 hours? "

" No, " I shook my head.

" How long did it last?" He asked as he looked at me quite surprised.

" The doctor said around 30 to 40 minutes, " I explained.

" How is that possible? An episode usually lasts at a minimum of 4 hours " Mr.Pinterson said as he continued to write everything down into his notebook.

I looked straight into his eyes, " That's what the doctor told me. "

Mr.Pinterson nodded but looked at me confused, " Do you have a boyfriend or some else of that sorts?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head in denial, " No! No! I don't. "

" That's quite weird. " Mr. Pinterson stated.

" Why? " I asked quite worried.

Mr.Pinterson sighed as he explained, " The shortening of an episode can only take place when a significant other calms the other down or maybe someone told you some words that you have been longing to hear. "

" So my episode got shortened because the person told me that everything is going to be okay?" I asked.

" No, those aren't words that clinically sad people long for, " my therapist explained.

" But that has to be it as Seungmin isn't my significant other, he's only my classmate, " I said.

My therapist looked at me, " You don't remember what happened? "

I shook my head as a response.

" He told you words that you were longing for but didn't expect at that moment, " Mr.Pinterson said as he wrote something down in his notebook again.

" How are you so sure? " I asked.

Mr.Pinterson laughed slightly, " Your brain chose to block that memory out because it may have caused sudden feeling to appear inside of you."

" Are you saying I forgot it just cause my brain decided to have a crush on him or something? This is absolute nonsense, " I said as I laughed.

" It's not nonsense. You see, there is a chance that those words got you attached to him suddenly, " he explained.

" But I don't remember anything, how could words that I haven't even ever heard make me crush on a guy so suddenly? " I asked annoyed. I wasn't getting where he was hinting at. One moment he is confused about what is happening to me, the other he just knows everything.

" You don't remember but you did experience it," Mr.Pinterson said as he wrote it down in his notebook.

I chuckled, " So my feeling for him are basically fake?"

" No, the feelings that you will be experiencing from now on are going to be completely sincere. Try to remember what he told you until our next meeting, okay? " Mr.Pinterson assigned me homework.

Great, I go to a person to help me deal with my stupid brain but he just signed me some idiotic homework that won't even help in the long run.

I nodded my head and got up, " Goodbye, Mr.Pinterson."

He nodded his head and waved me off. I walked outside with the most confused emotions and many unanswered questions.

So I didn't like him that time we were by the lockers?

Why did he have to be the one that found me?

Why isn't that dude Pinterson just helping me?

Why do I have to figure these things out myself?

What did Seungmin tell me?

A/N This story was supposed to be a short story with only 15 chapters as it's hard for me to finish a whole 30+ chapter ff but like... I feel like this fanifc could actually get to 25 chapters because I love this so much. Like I haven't written this much in a week ever. I don't know where I got the inspiration to write this much but I LOVE IT.

P.s i'm having horrible problems with sleeping. Last night i slept only 2.3H and it's currently 1.34AM and I'm still awake and not even tired the next day...