BOSS | NCT

o21

Under the moonlight, I realized that watching Lucas walk in the road is a very unrealistic sight. With the bluish glow lighting his golden skin, I can perfectly see the way his veins and muscle gained tension.

Realizing that he's taking a different route, I asked him. "Where are we going? Isn't the headquarters that way?" when I said that, I pointed my finger at the opposite direction.

Lucas paused to look at me. "Do you really think Taeyong sent me a mail? Did you really believe we will go out for a job this late at night?"

"Oh," I blinked. "Oh." I repeat, realizing everything just now.

He doesn't have any appointment with Taeyong tonight. He lied to the Orphans. But why?

"You look so frustrated because I've been ignoring you and hiding secrets from you," he said. "So I thought that maybe you wanted to," he paused. "That maybe, just maybe, based on my intuition," he sighed "That maybe you want to spend a time alone with me?"

I am aware of the temperature rising to my cheeks. No matter how much I don't want to admit it, he's right.

I want to spend a time with him. Alone.

I looked at the ground, studying every cracks. I looked at my palm too, just to distract myself. But it's helpless. My heart beats loudly. My skin turns white. For some reason, I am terribly embarrassed. Lucas can read my desire eventhough I try so hard to keep it myself.

I heard Lucas inhale.  "Follow me. I want to show you something."

I nodded and followed him.

"Your brothers don't know when is your end day, do they?" he suddenly asked.

I winced. "I don't have the heart to tell them yet."

"I see," he gulped. "But if I were you, you should tell them sooner. It lessens the pain. If you keep on hiding it, the pain is unbearable when they suddenly find out you died with no awareness when Death will take you away. But, Nina, if you tell them now, they would be emotionally equipped for it. Trust me. Do not underestimate pain"

"I do not underestimate it." I said. "I know how bad it feels. I've been through many forms of pain. I watched my parents burn in front of me. I tried what it feels like to get burned by a hot, hell fire."

"You got burned," he stated, his face neutral.

"Of course." I said. "I have an ugly mark here," I added, tapping my thighs. "I'm just lucky that I survived."

Lucas breathed sharply. "Life is a cruel thing. Why do you think is it so difficult to live? But so easy to die?"

"I don't know. Nobody wants to die anyway. People like us, the infected, we-" I breathed. "We just don't have any choice."