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it had been two months, one week, and four days since eddie died in richie's arms. richie hadn't gone a day without thinking about it. in fact, every time he closed his eyes he saw it. eddie covered in blood and crying but somehow talking to richie. richie had never been very religious but he prayed every night for god or eddie or whoever the hell was listening to forgive him.
it had been three months, two weeks, and one day since eddie died in richie's arms. richie still thinks about him but he stopped praying. no one was listening. not even eddie. richie didn't blame him, though, richie could have saved him if he tried harder, but he didn't. and now eddie was gone but no one cared. only him.
it had been four months, three weeks, and four days since eddie died in richie's arms. tonight was the first night richie didn't drink until he passed out. now he could sleep without waking up screaming. he had nightmares for four months, three weeks, and two days. last night was different. richie slept without dreams full of blood, screams, and eddie kaspbrak.
it had been five months, two weeks, and six days since eddie died in richie's arms. richie brought someone home tonight. his eyes and smile mirrored eddie and he was almost the same height as the boy. half way through the night richie asked the boy to leave before vomiting. he didn't need reminders of eddie anymore. thinking about him made him feel sick.
it had been six months, one week, and one day since eddie died in richie's arms. richie had managed to keep himself distracted and he had gone a handful of days without thinking about eddie. although, thinking about him became awful hard. did he lose his left arm or his right? richie ignored it, though, sometimes people block things out when they have trauma.
it had been seven months, four weeks, and one day since eddie died in richie's arms. richie couldn't remember if eddie had asthma or glasses. maybe both. or maybe he had diabetes? that made sense. eddie always ate healthy.. or at least that's what richie thought.
it had been eight months, three weeks, and two days since eddie died in richie's arms. richie had been on the phone with mike the night before. turns out, mike doesn't remember eddie. richie was starting to wonder if he was even real.
it had been nine months, two weeks, and five days since eddie died in richie's arms. richie slept with a boy tonight. he had glasses. maybe eddie did have glasses, if he was even real. later that night richie found himself feeling empty. his chest ached in a way that it never had before. maybe it was because he hadn't had a one night stand in a while.
it had been ten months and only four days since eddie died in richie's arms. richie was looking through the photos in his memory box. bill, mike, stan, beverly, himself, and ben. there was a gap between ben and him, though. richie wondered how old they were and if they were old enough to have imaginary friends still or if the gap was an accident.
it had been eleven months, one week, and one day since eddie died in richie's arms. richie was meeting some people for dinner when he heard someone get called eddie. he froze and felt his heart race. eddie. the boy he was friends with as a kid. the boy who filled the gap between ben and him, the boy who filled the gap in his heart. he rushed home and stared at the pictures and wrote down everything he remembered. fanny pack. brown eyes. glasses? asthma? sickness? eddie.
it had been twelve months since eddie died in richie's arms. he remembered the boy with asthma and gentle hands. the boy who was fearful yet brave. the boy who made richie feel something. but there was one thing richie couldn't remember for the life of him. what was the boy's name?
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my fingers are shaking sm rn so i'm gonna go eat something. + penny (mar. 11, 2018 @ 4:49pm)
