"I'll text you. We'll keep in touch, yeah?" Louis asked. I nodded and hugged him again. He wasn't scary. He was never scary to me besides on the first night that I had seen them. The rest of them terrified me but I knew it was just a front with Louis. He wasn't supposed to be caught up in the gang life. He was better than that.
"Thank you for everything, Louis." I sighed, squeezing him tighter. "I know you hate being this open. I really appreciate it, though."
"Of course, love. Anything." he said softly, hugging me back. "See you soon. We'll be ok. He'll be ok." Louis sighed, smiling weakly before taking off again. "I've heard this quote before. Really cheesy, but... Time heals all wounds. That's all we need. Time, ok? It might take him a while, but he'll get better. I know it. He's never down for more than a little while. He heals quickly." I remembered Harry telling me this at least five times since I've known him. And I haven't known him that long.
"Do you really believe all that stuff, Louis?"
"I don't know... I try to." Louis answered.
"Charlotte, thank God you're ho- Is... is he ok?" Mom noticed me crying. She must think that he died. Maybe at this point, he is dead and I just don't know yet. He could be.
"He's in the ICU now. They don't know if he's going to make it or not. It doesn't look good..." I moaned.
"Oh, Honey... Why don't you change into some pajamas. Get comfy on the couch? I'll get some blankets and make hot chocolate. We can watch movies together, yeah?"
"I love you." I cried, throwing my arms around her neck. Normally, I was emotionally distant from my family, but I really needed her comfort at the moment.
I laid, curled up on the couch with my head on my mom's lap, trying to concentrate on the movie rather than Harry. There was nothing I could do about it, so my best bet is to wait. "Do you think he's going to be ok, Mom?"
"I think so, Honey. He has you to fight for and that should be all he needs. So, are you two dating?" she asked, smiling eagerly. I cringed at her choice of words. I hated being comforted. And I hated when people said sappy things to me. It only made me feel uncomfortable.
"No, we're just friends, but..." I trailed off. "It seems like it could have been more than that. Or leading to that anyway." I said, wondering about what we really were. He had taken me on a "date", but he said, "something like that." Was it really a date at all? He never officially asked me out but he said that he was trying to figure me out and he called me "painfully interesting". Friends don't do that... I shook my head, sick of having normal teenage girl problems. I'm not used to having those... Except normal teenage girls don't develop crushes on gang leaders and have to deal with their almost- death.
"Don't worry, Baby. If he was meant to stay, he'll stay." That's not what I wanted to hear. None of this was. I wished I was alone, even though my mom was trying to help me. It was barely helping. This happens every time. People try to help me and they only make things worse. No one ever really tells me what I need to hear.
"But even if he's not meant to stay, I need him." I said, bitterly. My mom stroked my hair until I fell asleep on her lap. For once I had let myself be consoled by my mother. I had always felt insignificant when anyone comforted me. I felt like I shouldn't be having the problems that I had. I had never shown my emotions so no one ever expected me to have problems, which always led to comforting being extremely awkward for me. And that's why I never let anyone comfort me. I'd lock myself in my room with my parents banging on the door if I had to. And sometimes, I've had to. But not now. Now, I needed it, no matter how awkward it was.
I woke up at 4AM. My mom was asleep on the floor and a blanket covered the top of me. She was such a good mother. I knew that she didn't want to leave me, but she gave me the blanket, not wanting me to get cold over night. Especially since I was always cold. No matter what. I smiled to myself and checked the date. Tuesday. I have school today! I dashed up to my bedroom and got ready. I waited until I absolutely had to wake my mom up. She had been so kind to me that I wanted her to get all the sleep that she could. "Mom?" I whispered, nudging her gently. No reaction. "Mom!" I nudged her harder.
"What? What? Are you ok?" she asked, sitting up. "Is H-"
"I'm fine! Everything's fine! C- Can you drive me to school?" I didn't feel like walking. It was embarrassing to walk when everyone else had a car.
"Oh, Charlotte." my mom sighed, standing up. "Do you really think you're ready? Will you be able to get through the day?" This irritated me again and made me feel awkward, but I couldn't be mean. Not after all she had done for me. Of course I was going to go to school. What else would I do? Sit at home all day and stare at a wall and cry? Besides, i couldn't afford to fall behind at school. I'm so close to graduating. The best thing I could do for myself at a time like this, was to throw myself into work. It helped me get my mind off of things.
"I'll be fine, Mom. I need exposure before I become a hermit. Everything's fine anyway."
"Ok." she muttered in an unsure tone. I wanted to roll my eyes. She didn't get it.
So I went to school every day again and to the library as soon as I got home. I had to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of Harry. Ms. Monroe worried about me so much, ignorant of my persistence that I was perfectly alright. She was treating me even better than usual, but it didn't bother me like it does when my family coddles me. Every time I sat down to read a book, though, Harry's absence crept into my mind, leaving me wishing that he'd show up on the other side of the shelf once more like he had before.
Harry's POV
I could've sworn that I had head Charlotte's voice. Louis' too? I couldn't wake myself up, but I was slightly more aware of things than if I were truly asleep. Charlotte. The only girl I've ever wanted to know me. I wanted to open up to her- not only a rare occurrence for me, it's never happened with anyone before. I want to be a better person for her. I want to stop hurting people and stop being so arrogant all the time. God, I'm so arrogant. I know that I'm not the king of the world, but acting like I am is the only thing that keeps me alive sometimes. But I want to change for her. She makes my bad thoughts go away and that's how I know that I want to keep her around. "Come back to me." her voice whispered over and over again. I have to be there for her. She needed someone to protect her and I was very willing to fulfill that position. I hated that she was still scared of me. If I had to, I'd spend the rest of my life trying to prove to her that she didn't have to be afraid of me. Hopefully, taking a bullet for her would prove that to her. Wake up! I have to wake up!
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Author's Note: Thank you so much if you're reading this! I know I say that all the time but it really does make me happy.
If you want to see some more of my stuff, I have a Tumblr that I write imaignes on: i-write-about-idiots.
Thanks for the support and reading my stuff. It means so much to me and I hope you're all enjoying it. I'll make it better with editing and stuff. Thank you! :) Love you all!
~Peyt x
