Unmended

186 8 0

by louisjuul

by louisjuul

(request: Ryan and Brendon broke up months ago, Brendon moves on fairly quickly while Ryan still tortures himself with memories of their relationship)

it's just angst, sorry

. . .

Ryan looked at the notification on his phone. His ex, Brendon, had just posted a new photo on Instagram.

Ryan knew he should have unfollowed him by now but the fact that Brendon hadn't blocked him gave him a sense of false hope that they could start over. The picture was of Brendon and his new girlfriend, yes girlfriend.

It made him sick honestly. Brendon had gotten with the girl only two weeks after their split. Ryan still felt the sting even after it being four months ago.

He quickly exited out of the app, no longer wanting to see Brendon's bright smile. In all honesty, Ryan was a wreck.

He hadn't left his apartment since the breakup, only the occasional run to the grocery store.

The Breakup was so sudden too. Ryan came home from the book store one day to see Brendon walking out of their bedroom with a suitcase.

"...I'm sorry Ry, I just can't do this anymore. I- I can't be with you anymore. My family is starting to get suspicious and I just can't let them know about us."

All Ryan gathered from that was he doesn't want you anymore waytogoryanyoufuckedsomethingupyetagain. And that led to him having an anxiety attack only minutes after Brendon walking out the door.

Spencer, he and Brendon's mutual friend, stopped by every so often to check in on him. He appreciated the gesture but seeing Spencer just brought back too many memories for him to handle.

Ryan had considered moving across the country but couldn't bring himself to leave the apartment they had once shared.

The cat they had bought together was pawing at the closed bedroom door, snapping Ryan out of his thoughts. He got up out of his, their, bed and made his way to the kitchen where the cat's bowl was.

It took all his willpower for him to get up, any normal person would be concerned about that but Ryan didn't care.

He knew he was acting like a high schooler who had just gotten dumped for the first time but he couldn't help it.

He had devoted his whole self to Brendon. And yeah, maybe he had depended a bit too much on the man but that didn't matter anymore. Brendon left, knowing full well how that would affect Ryan, for some girl.

So much for being gay. Ryan chuckled at his own thought.

He finished feeding his cat and went right back to the bed, grabbing his phone and burrowing under the sheets. He went onto Twitter, scrolling through the endless tweets of his friends before seeing one Brendon had tweeted only a few days ago.

You never know how much you miss someone until their gone 🥀.

That tweet could have been about anyone, but the rose at the end confirmed that it was about Ryan. Throughout their relationship, Brendon's favorite pet name for Ryan was rose.

He didn't even realize he was crying until he felt a tear drop on his arm. He turned off his phone and roughly rubbed at his arms.

How fucking dare he say he missed me.He's the one who broke up with me? WhatdidIdotomakehimleave fuck I can't breathe.

And just like, he was having another attack. They happened quite often now.

His anxiety had gotten worse over the course of the months spent alone but he sure as hell wasn't going to tell anyone, they didn't need to have that burden put on them.

And so, he lay there, going through his daily routine of anxiety attacks and questioning his whole relationship.

If Brendon really loved him, why did he leave him broken?

. . .

610 words

edited: no

request number: 1

a/n: GO READ MY GAWSTEN ONESHOT BOOK CAUSE THEY ARE MY CURRENT OTP AND I HAVE A FUCKLOAD OF IDEAS FOR THEM AND I'LL UPDATE MORE ON THERE. <3

3.2.2018