Impossible (Jerrie)

forty five

(this book is gonna end soon)

"So,what are you gonna do about her?" I heard Jesy's voice coming out of the phone.

"I don't know. I wanna be there for her but it's hard for me to do that."

Perrie was talking to the phone with Jesy,as her parents are out of town for a couple of days and she gets bored very easily. The last thing Perrie wanted to do was getting out of bed or doing something productive. Perrie was almost at rock bottom. She started studying less and less,thing that her parents blame on Jade. Jade was concerned about her 'girlfriend' because of that. She couldn't sleep knowing that Perrie's parents fight because of what she did or what she's going through. 

"Perrie,be serious." Jesy's voice woke Perrie from her transe

"A-about what?" She eventually answered her friend after a couple of seconds of silence

"Do you still love Jade?"

These were the 5 words that Perrie was the most afraid of. She asked herself this question over and over again in her head,not knowing the real and true answer.

"No! I mean..k-kinda..No." Perrie mentally face-palmed for what she just said. Even herself didn't know if that question had an affirmative or negative answer.

"I mean..I still care if she ate,or if she slept well. I still care if she's feeling fine or not,if the situation in her family is getting better or worse. I still care about her,this I know for sure,but that doesn't mean I still love her,because I don't anymore."

Jesy,on the other line,was very shocked and almost couldn't believe it. She never saw 2 people love themselves more than Jade and Perrie do. Jade meant everything to Perrie and viceversa. She didn't believe her,but she didn't tell anything about what she tought about all this situation.

"Well,Perrie..these are your emotions,you know them the best. Just take your time,alright?" Jesy talked to Perrie,and she replied with a small 'yes'.

After the 2 hours call ended,Perrie started wondering what she could do in order to pass time,because she usually gets bored very easily,her tought never leaving Jade.

Meantime,Jade was a mess. She would barely eat,let apart sleeping. Her mind was way too full of negative thoughts,all relating to her father. She hasn't been to school this week,until now. It's Thursday,and she has the intention to stay home all this week.

Her mother wasn't doing well either,after all,her husband was missing. She thought of every scenario that could have happened since the day Jade's father was seen last. She is now in Cardiff,by herself. Jade refused to go,in plus if the police contacted the Thirlwall family,someone has to be home.

Leigh Anne and Jesy knew about this awful situation,and they tried to keep all the rumors in high school under control,easy to say hard to do. Some of the students said that Jade was just faking her family situation for attention.

In Cardiff,Jade's mom was speaking to her husbands' neighbours,trying to create a believable scenario of what happened that day.

In the end,she got some useful information. She now knows that her husband came home early in the morning,around 4am or 5am. Then,he left at 12pm again and nobody knows about him since. Jade's mom thinks that he came home drunk,and maybe he went out for a walk,but that's not plausible because he would've come home in that time. Three days passed since he's been missing,and the police have no path to follow in this case.

They are still searching for him,obviously,but the more days pass,the chances of finding him are getting less and less.

-

"C'mon Jade,you need to eat something. We both know what you went through the last time you didn't eat for days." Perrie says to Jade,while standing on the couch.

"I can't eat! I just can't. My dad is out there,God knows where and eating doesn't help." Jade says in a hard british accent.

"It helps your body. You've done everything you could,you mother did too. Now let the police do their part,they already said that if they find anything,you are the first to know." Perrie rubbs Jade's back,who was trying to not cry,let it all out.

Even if Perrie was all day at Jade's house,her mood was always down. She loved Perrie's company,a lot,but the circumstances are not helping. She barely sleeps,if she's lucky,she gets 4 hours a night. Food is now a foreign concept for Jade,she's getting skinnier and skinner by the day. Her clothes and hair are always messy,and the only human connection she does is Perrie,and eventually her mom when she calls. She shut down everyone,including Jed,Leigh Anne and Jesy.

They are very concerned about her too,Jade won't even speak to anyone except Perrie. The others are sad about Jade's situation,and she thinks that it's all her fault that they are like this. She blames herself everyday,not only for how her friends are feeling,but for the missing of her father too. She thinks that maybe if she behaved more respectfully and if she didn't try to bring Perrie in every fall out,he would still be there with her,in London.

"I'm sorry,Perrie." is what Jade finally managed to say to her friend. She says this phrase at least 10 times a day. Jade is feeling in a way she never felt before.

"Jade,don't be sorry,it's not your fault! Listen to me." Perrie carefully lifts Jade's head up,only to see that her cheeks were wet,as she tried to cry in a silent way.

"You have nothing to do with it! If you wanna blame someone,blame me! Your dad loves you more than you can even imagine,why would he leave you and your mother behind on purpose? He left London only to make some money,not because of you." Perrie says while drying the tears from Jade's face with her thumbs.

Their moment was interrupted by Jade's phone who was rinning for almost 3 minutes straight. No one made the effort to grab it and answer the call,but Jade grabbed her phone from the coffee table in front of the couch. Jed's name appeared on the screen. Jade looked at it,more tears forming in her eyes.

"You should answer it,he's worried." Perrie knew all about the situation of the others. Jed missed Jade,a lot. He missed the days where they were best friends,telling each other everything,but truth hurts.

Jade just nodded and answered the call,hesitating. When Jed noticed that she finally answered the call,he got a little bit surprised,Jade barely answered any call in the last weeks.

"J-Jed.." the brown-haired girl finally managed to say,more tears leaving her eyes.

"Jade?! oh my gosh are you fine?" he says,his heart beat getting a little faster as each second passes.

"M-me? y-yeah I'm fine." she said,almost like showing no emotion.

"Are you sure? You don't sound so convincing." Perrie could hear Jed's voice coming out of the phone.

"I'm fine..okay?" this were the last words Jade told to her friend after hanging up.

Perrie didn't say anything to Jade,she just hugged her very tight,causing Jade to fall asleep very quickly,she was exhausted,not just mentally.

Perrie's phone started ringing around 11pm,and she immediately started thinking of the worst scenarios that could have happened,after all,who calls at that hourfor good news?

"Perrie Edwards?" she hears a woman's voice,around 30 years old said as soon as Perrie answered the call.

"Y-yes that's me." She almost whispered,she was afraid not to wake Jade up,she knew how little sleep she was getting lately.

"You should come to the hospital now,your mother is in critical condition."