Journal Of A Companion (Matt Smith Fanfiction)

Part IX ~ I'm A Train Wreck

“Doctor, you aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon. I’m here until the end,” I recited.

“What end, Annie? This will never end. You’ll simply spend your life risking your life with me? That’s ridiculous!”

“It’s not when you’re in love.”

I gazed into his green eyes and started to lean in. I had to admit, it was only half professional – a big part of me, not Annie, wanted to kiss him too. Our lips almost touched when he suddenly backed away.

“I think we should save the kiss for the camera. Nothing forces us to kiss now and besides, we’ll save the magic for the screen,” he suggested.

I was relieved and disappointed all at the same time.

“Yeah, you’re right. Good thinking, Matt,” I faked a smile. “Jump to the next scene?”

“Sure,” he agreed.

I hadn’t read this far into the script yet and had no idea what to expect. Of course, it was the Doctor making it clear to Annie that he wasn’t interested, that he was married.

“But you can’t deny you kissed me back!”

“It doesn’t matter if I did or didn’t, Annie. We are friends and that is the end of it. Please don’t make it more difficult than it has to be.” He spoke a little coldly – in character and appropriately for the scene.

“I can’t just pretend to be friends with you if I have these feelings for you… hum, the script says that I start crying here. Do I practice that as well?” I asked.

“If you feel like you have to. It might be a good idea,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ok then, let me restart then. I can’t just pretend to be friends with you if I have these feelings for you…” I concentrated hard on the scene, getting myself into Annie’s skin. I remembered my first crush back in secondary school, Tom who had completely broken my heart.

Suddenly, tears started to stream from my eyes.

“Either you forget about your feelings or I take you home. I just want a friend, I’m a married man.”

“But… Doctor, I-I…”

It had become too much for me. I was crying more than I intended too and I was unable to stop. I was simply too heartbroken for Annie. I could feel her pain and sorrow and it hurt badly.

“Cadence, are you ok?” Matt started to worry.

“I-I… oh god, I’m pathetic!” I complained.

Trying to whip the tears away, I stood up and ran into my bedroom where I closed the door behind me, not wanting him to see me like this. I leaned on the door as I tried to calm myself down.

“Cadence, it’s ok you know, please open the door,” Matt said on the other side as he knocked.

“No… I’m pathetic…” I sobbed.

“No, you aren’t! You have feelings and that is completely normal,” he responded.

I sighed and let myself fall onto my bed. The door didn’t have a lock so as soon as I moved, he entered. He sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on my back, friendlily caressing it.

“You’re a sensitive girl and that isn’t a bad thing. You feel emotions greeter than most people do. You feel emotions for things some people wouldn’t care about at all. That doesn’t make you week or fragile or pathetic. It can only make you a better actress if anything,” he softly said to me as I buried my face into my pillow.

The crying had mostly stopped once I was finally able to look up at him. My eyes were red and puffy and I seriously needed a Kleenex.

“How could that possibly make me a better actress? The director told me on the first day that I needed to toughen up…”

“You don’t need to toughen up, Cadence. You are completely fine. You just need to learn how to control your feelings better. Become the master of your emotions to be able to better portrait them on the screen,” he elaborated. “In the meantime, you have a shoulder to cry on right here,” he smiled warmly.

I sat up in my bed and, with no hesitation, wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back tightly and I loved feeling the warmth of his body against mine. I loved the smell of his skin, almost like freshly cut grass…

Then it hit me, I was falling in love with Matt.

***25 VOTES FOR PART X***