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The next two weeks, I was extremely focused. Rarely did I leave my trailer for any other reason than to eat. I read my script front to back two hundred times.

I was going to be in the 5th episode, the episode Amy leaves the show.  She was going to die because of a Weeping Angel attack. My character, Annie, was going to be a simple bystander that and was to get pulled into the action by accident. The Doctor saves her life at the end and she is brought back home and doesn’t come back until the 7th episode when she becomes the Doctor’s companion.

The script was beautifully written by Moffat, I loved every line. The day I had received my script, I spent a while in my trailer, trying to hold back the tears – in vain – as I read it.

My first day of rehearsal had arrived and I was shaking as I made my way to set with Matt and Karen.

“Calm down a bit, you’ll do fine,” he assured me, seeing how nervous I was.

“Easy for you to say, you’ve done this a million times… I’ve only done an acne cream commercial where I didn’t even talk…” I replied.

“You got the part because you were good. Brilliant even.”

“I messed up my lines at the call back, I don’t even know why I got the part,” I pouted.

He sighed heavily, giving up on reasoning with me. My mind was stuck on “I’m going to fail”. The very first scene we were practicing was Amy’s death and it was going to be intense since it was the scene I kept sobbing at while reading the script.

Turns out he didn’t give up on cheering me up. He suddenly slowed down while blocking the way. He stopped completely and turned to me. He placed his hands on my shoulder, crouching down just a little to my height.

“Cadence, here’s your first tip: Think positive! We’re like a family here, if you mess up a little, we simply restart. It’s just rehearsal and there is such thing as bloopers. You’d think that it’s super strict on set, but we laugh a lot. So put a smile on that lovely face of yours and let’s go,” he spoke firmly, but with a smile.

I blushed brightly when he said I had a lovely face though that wasn’t the important part of his speech. I forced myself to smile as well and to change my mind set.


I was sobbing. Real warm tears were pouring out of my eyes. Amy’s death was too much for me, I had too much of an attachment to the fictional character. I was leaded off set by Arthur who took me to a nearby room where I sat down on the couch.

“I’m… sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m pathetic,” I cried.

“No, not at all!” he assured me. “I mean, I know what’s it’s like to lose a character you really love. Hum…” he leaded down and whispered, “I cried when George O’Malley on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ died. Like seriously balled my eyes out,” he blushed brightly and I could help but laugh at his embarrassment.

“Thank you,” I smiled.


I stayed there for a moment in silence as I whipped away the tears.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to film that scene at all…” I admitted. “I always do that, I love fictional characters more than actual people… Maybe that’s why I’ve been single for 3 years…” I sighed.

“Well you just have to wait until someone better than all the fictional characters comes along,” Arthur shrugged.

“I’ll never find someone better than the Doctor,” I chuckled.

“It’s true that you’re aiming a little high then…” he teased and we laughed once more.

The director walked in.

“Cadence? Are you ok?” he asked.

“Now, I am,” I answered.

“Good. Look, I know this can be difficult for someone who hasn’t acted in Doctor Who yet, who’s only used to watching the show, but this is show business and you need to toughen up a little. We’ve decided that we will film you separately to help, but this is a onetime thing. And you still need to rehearse. So come on back to set and we’ll practice your lines once they’re done,” he explained and left as soon as he appeared.

I nodded and sighed heavily before lifting myself off the couch. This really wasn’t starting well for me.


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