Toilet

Irony of Fate

AMBER'S POV

Traveling with Nicole, the road seemed more like an adventure, with the exception of infinite traffic.  Perhaps, eating twelve loaded burritos from a gas station wasn't the best idea.  My stomach churned as another warm fart slipped out. 

I was developing a fever, and I had the worst case of swamp ass.  Today is hot and humid.  The AC in the rental car is broken, and there's no wind to bear forth the smell of burritos and shit.  And to make matters worse, it feels like Satan is stabbing my uterus, and kicking my bladder. 

"I have to pee."

'Again?" Nicole nagged.

I could feel presipiration pool in the folds of my tummy and between the swell of my breasts.  I took another swig of soda.  Nicole was blasting country music, and I felt like I was dying inside.  Some guy was singing about a truck, 'merica, and road kill. 

"Pull over," I urged.  Crossing my legs painfully, I tried to not focus on rain, waterfalls, underwater cities, and leaky faucets. 

"I can't go anywhere," she explained, swatting her hands at the cars ahead of us.  We're trapped.  

"Drip, drip, drip, drip," Nicole taunted. 

"Where's that cup?" I asked, searching the car.

"You can't be serious? People will see you!" Nicole shrieked.

"I have to pee, I have no choice!"

"Amber, get out of the car and go behind a tree," she pointed towards the woods next to the highway.  That was always an option, I guess. 

"Toilet paper?" I asked hopefully.

"Use leaves," she giggled, "and don't use poison ivy like last time."

"That was one time," I said crazily, remembering that horrible incident from ninth grade.  I hurried out of the car, and fled into the woods like a lunatic.  Searching for the perfect tree to claim as mine, I ran deeper into the woods. 

Like a model, I glistened sexily beneath the sun, drenched in my own perspiration.  Forgetting to put on deodorant like I manage every day, my armpits felt moist, smelling like garlic.  My stomach cramped again in agony. 

Finally spotting a tree that was probably overrun with ticks, termites, or red fire ants, I tore down my pants and squatted awkwardly. My thighs burned from the high intensity after ten seconds, so I leaned against the tree for support. 

After a few moments, I began to urinate, and it felt amazing.  Finishing up, I pulled up my pants, only to discover that I pissed all over them.  The warmth faded after a few moments, and I was left feeling wet and cold. 

Criticizing myself, not aware of my surroundings at all, I heard a rustle in the leaves.  Being a girl scout in a video game, I picked up a stick as a weapon and began tracking where the noise was coming from. 

It didn't take long to figure out that I was standing directly on top of it.  Standing upright, hissing, was a very large, unfriendly, probably venomous, green snake of death.  Not only did I pee my pants, but I pissed on a snakes nest. 

I thought about battling with the snake-I had a stick-I might win.  After thinking about it, I decided it was better to pick and choose my battles, and run away, screaming like a Spartan.  Even though Nicole is telepathic, she respected my privacy enough to not eavesdrop, and listen to my thoughts. 

The look on her face was priceless.  She seemed very surprised to see me running out of the woods, waving a stick in midair, with a large  water stain on the front of my knickers.  Alas, my war-cry attracted unwanted attention from the other drivers.

Jumping in the car with lightening speed, I urged Nicole to race forward.  I only hoped that the snake did not follow me, and if it did, I still had my stick. 

"Do I even want to know?" Nicole asked, fighting back laughter. 

VICTORIA'S POV

Staring at the cabin longingly, I had to appreciate the memories here.  Tim was waiting impatiently in the row boat.  He is so eager to please me, but of course, I don't mind that at all. 

Today, we will track down Amber.  And after everything I've been through, I will finally have my happy ending.