What We Hide

Normal

Natalia got up in the middle of the night to change since she was still in uniform. she couldn't sleep so she decides to try to find more information about her mom any information about her mom.

 She drank cup after cup of coffee, and some energy drinks and searched. She checked her government file and found nothing. Her foster files also came up empty, there was nothing about her mom anywhere. She even looked for a wedding certificate between her father and her mom, but it didn't exist. She looked for a birth certificate that had her father's name but nothing came up. She revisited all her previous findings but that too had the same results. It was as if her mother never really existed.

Natalia was already irritated at the lack of information she had and with all the caffeine in her system, she began to panic out. She started throwing everything in her sight to the walls. She started with the pile of papers she had, moved on to the pencil holder, the books on her desk, the empty cans, the coffee mug was the last thing to break. She had also picked up her computer but didn't throw it. Her room was a mess, with scattered pens, pencils, paper. Broken glass and empty cans all over the floor.

She was overwhelmed and felt defeated. she felt like she didn't belong anywhere. she sunk to the floor and started crying, she hugged her knees and just sat there crying silent tears. She felt useless and unwanted, she knew that she would never be able to find anything about her mom, if she was not able to find it in the academy she wouldn't be able to find it anywhere.

It was difficult for her to stop crying but she did. When she finished she got up and carefully stepped over the shattered glass and got ready for classes as if nothing happened. She was great at acting like she was okay like nothing had happened. She had learned to conceal what she was feeling and continue her day like it was a regular day.

When she was ready she cleaned up and managed to safely do it without hurting herself. Just as she was finished, the breakfast bell rang and she went to breakfast.

She continued the day as if nothing had occurred the previous day or that morning. She went to all her classes the next day as if nothing was wrong. But there was something clearly wrong. Natalia didn't talk or sit with anyone the whole day. Everyone was giving her space,  Emily would occasionally ask how she was but Natalia would give her one-word responses and leave. 

The next day, and the day after that she did the same thing. she sat alone, did not participate in any class assignments and hardly ever touched her food. All she did was sit and read.

She did that in all her classes and every single teacher asked her what was wrong and she'd answer 'Nothing, I'm fine', and continued reading. It wasn't until the second day when she entered Romanoff's class that she put the book down.

"Natalia," Natasha called her with a serious tone into her office.

Natalia looked up and walked to Natasha's office, she took a seat on the couch in front if Romanoff's chair.

"Natalia. What is going on with you?" Romanoff asked genuinely concerned

"Nothing, there is nothing wrong with me. Why does everyone keep asking that?!" Natalia yelled no longer to contain her frustration

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me, young lady." Romanoff demanded

"Sorry," Natalia put her head down

"Natalia, you need to resolve whatever is going on with you. I can clearly see that something is upsetting you, and I hope it is not this whole situation between you and Howard."

Natalia looked up at her, she couldn't form any words.

"You need to get some fresh air, clear your head, get out of this environment and take a break. Okay?" Natasha put her hand on Natalia's shoulder "Why don't clear your head. You don't have to go to any classes today, I'll excuse you. If there is anything I could do for you, you know where to find me okay?"