What We Hide

Not Anymore

Howard and Daniel were both startled at the sound of pounding against their door at three in the morning. They jolted to their feet and rushed to the door. Daniel opened the door and saw an angry redhead standing in the hallway holding a sweater.

"This is all, you dude." Daniel turned to tell Howard and left the room.

"Nat," Howard was stopped as she pushed him inside and shut the door behind them.

"Shut your trap, Howard." Natalia silenced him and threw the sweater he let her borrow at him, she was not here to receive an apology.

"I just came to tell you that I don't need, nor do I want your help finding my mom. I can find her myself."

"But, weren't we supposed to find her together?" he asked sadly

"Not anymore." she sighed and turned to face him. "I don't want anything from you, so just leave me alone." she turned to leave but Howard grabbed her arm. She quickly pulled her arm and stopped herself from slapping him across his bruised face. She wanted to ask what happened but didn't. She didn't want to show that she still cared a little about him, even after what he told her.

"You have no right to fucking touch me. You had the nerve to accuse me of sleeping with Sebastian without even knowing the least bit of the story!" She was going to leave but curiosity got the best of her.

"Why?" she looked at his intense blue eyes. "Why'd you tell me that?" She shifted her weight uncomfortably. 

Howard was silent, he didn't have a reason, and he just stared at her without saying a word.

"That's what I thought," Natalia said softly and left, slamming the door behind her.

She walked back to her dorm, with pain in her chest. the same pain she felt when her foster family told her that she couldn't stay with them anymore. There was no point in her trying to go to sleep because she knew she wasn't even going to close her eyes, so instead, she went for a run.

After running a few minutes Natalia abruptly stopped in the middle of her run and began to question everything. Why was she here? What was she going to do when she got older? Why her dad never loved her? why did he treat her so cruel? Why was her life so messed up? What was her purpose in the academy? Why was it that everywhere she went, something went wrong?

She couldn't process all the emotions she was feeling, so she stood there without moving for at least 5 minutes until she was able to move. She didn't cry, she wasn't angry, sad, happy, or afraid, she didn't feel anything. She was numb.

She didn't finish her run, and she walked back to her room. She entered her room and showered, and changed into her uniform. She still had a couple of hours left before class started, so she grabbed a book and tried to read it, but the words just flew past her. She put it down and just stared at the white ceiling until the breakfast bell rang. She heard the bell but did not move, she just kept laying there. Later the bell for class rang, she wanted to go but her body did not let her, and so she stayed in the same position she had been in. She blinked and breathed, that was all she did, she didn't even flinch when the late bell rang. That's what she did for the rest of the day, she didn't even get up to eat. The bells kept ringing, the sun kept moving and it eventually set, the moon rose, the stars came out and Natalia hadn't moved an inch. 

There was a knock on her door and that was the only thing that got her to move, but she just moved her head to make sure her door was locked and confirming that it was, she went back to staring at the ceiling. The knocking continued, and voices followed,

"Nat?" a girly voice said, "Are you in there?"

A deep husky voice followed, "Natalia, can you open the door?"

Natalia figured it was Emily and she was certain it was Sebastian outside her door.

At first, it was just the two of them but everyone was coming from class and they wanted to check up on Natalia also. So, the knocking continued,

"Hey, Natalia can you make any sound, so we can make sure that you are okay." Daniel requested

"Red! This is Chris, everyone is worried about you since we didn't see you at all today, and we were all wondering if you were sick, and if you are, we would like to know so we can leave you alone."

"Natalia, this is Thea. I would also like to know you are well or if you are ill, and if so we can try to assist you in anything you would like or need, we just want to be informed that you are there and alive."

"This is Miranda" she banged on the door. "Get your ass up and out of there if you do not want me to get you out myself. You've got everybody out here worried, so stop being such a drama queen and get over whatever it is you are going through!"

"Miranda!" Emily yelled, "That is not going to help her, she is  not going to open the door for sure now."

"How do you even know if she is in there?" Howard said, and everyone's head turned rapidly to look at him.

"Shut up Howard!" Emily told him. "This is probably your fault, you were the one that called her a slut!"

"I did not!" he yelled back

"You called her a 'slut'?" Miranda looked at him

"NO!" he yelled.

Chris was keeping an eye on Sebastian just in case that he attempted to do anything.

"He didn't say the word, but he did insinuate it," Sebastian said

"Wait. How the hell did he. . .  Why the hell. . .?" Miranda couldn't wrap her head around anything that was going on.

"If anything, you're the slut, Howard!" Jacob said out of nowhere

"That is so true, you go with anything that moves!" Ivan supported his brother.

"Why are you two shit-talking him?" Daniel jumped in.

"You all need to calm down!" Liam tried to get order, but it got out of hand. Everyone was yelling over each other and some pushing between Daniel and the Hill brothers began. Emily was still arguing about Howard, Miranda was asking questions, Chris was trying to stop Sebastian and Thea was telling Emily to calm down. It was complete chaos.

Natalia heard every word that was being said and yelled. She got irritated, so she got up and opened her door. As soon as her door opened everyone went silent, it got so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"I'm fine," Natalia stared at them, but she held her gaze on Sebastian and his bruised eye. She closed the door before anyone was able to say a word and she went under her blanket.

Published: 29/01/2021