The Youngest of the Family

Chapter Thirty-Two: I've Failed You

Are we growing up or just going down

It's just a matter of time until we're all found out

Take our tears and put them on ice

'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

BRENDON'S POV:

I could feel her heart beating. I could feel her breathing yet, she looked so lifeless so dead. How could this have happened? My mind went astray as I carried my, yet again, unconscious daughter out from the house to the car.

"Zack! Get in the front seat and drive. Here! Take my keys!"

Zack and I get in and the whole ride to the hospital was just a blur. All I can remember is hugging my daughter's lifeless body and crying telling her that I love her.

I'm not sure that she can hear me, but I'm hoping with all my heart that she can. A lot of emotions are running through my mind.

I'm about to lose my child, my daughter, my whole world. And it's all my fault. I didn't keep a close enough eye on her. I don't know why I was so intent on going to drink tonight. I should have stayed home, I should have stayed there to comfort her to talk to her. But my anxiety got the best of me and I avoided the situation. I had a gut feeling that I should stay home but my brain was telling that beer could take all of my worries away. Obviously, my brain was wrong.

My mind was racing, my hands were sweating and my whole body was shaking.

"Stay with me, honey. You'll is okay baby, you'll be okay."

I just kept whispering that in her ear the whole way to the hospital. I've failed her as a father. Maybe it would be better if she went back to the state. If she went into the hands of someone that can actually take care of her. I have failed. I have failed in keeping her safe, I failed at keeping her happy. I have just failed in general.

We get to the hospital and I don't move. The medics carry Nicole into the hospital and Zack gets out. I just sit there in shock of whats going on.

"Excuse me, son. You have to get out. We need you to get out." a paramedic said to me.

"Oh I'm sorry," I say and I slowly get out of the ambulance and go into the waiting room and sit down beside Zack.

I know that Zack is talking but I'm not listening. I'm too busy freaking out. my hands are shaking and it's getting tough to breathe. I begin to go into an anxiety attack, and I cant process what seems to be happening.

"Urie?"

I shoot up from my seat anxious to know what has happened and if she's okay.

"She is stable, we pumped her stomach and she has become stable. She cant have visitors but she will be okay. You can stay in here or you can go home and we will call you when she is awake."

I didn't really react. I just slowly sat down and Zack talked to the nurse about Nicole. The only conclusion I could come to in my mind was that I'm a bad father. Nicole would be better off with someone that knows how to handle kids, not me. At the time I didn't understand that being with me was keeping her alive. That I was the only happiness in her life. I should have known that by the first time I met her and things about my band were spread out all over her wall.

But at this moment in time, that wasn't what I thought about. I thought about how this didn't happen when she was in the home. This didn't happen until she was with me. Maybe because at the home, she didn't have anything to care about. Now she cares about a lot.  A lot of things and people. Not only did she care about them, they cared about her.

Then it hit me. I haven't told the guys what is going on. The only people that know about all this is me, Zack, Pete and Patrick. Josh and Gerard just knew she wasn't having the best of times and that she needed comfort. They didn't know it would result into all of this. Neither did I. Never in my life would I imagine that I have a daughter and she's in the hospital for a suicide attempt.

We end up back at my house but I'm still in a daze. When we get there Dallon is there and I'm guessing Zack told him because he looks at me with sad eyes and hugs me like he knows the pain. Like everything that is going on is normal and it'll pass.

But that's not the case. This isn't normal. She shouldn't be there. She should be here helping us put together a good defense for our case.

Instead I have failed her and now she is getting help to breathe by a machine and I can't do anything about it.

We're the therapists pumping through your speakers

Delivering just what you need

We're well read and poised

We're the best boys

We're the chemists who've found the formula

To make your heart swell and burst

No matter what they say, don't believe a word

//Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year - Fall Out Boy//

(A/N: Opps sorry. Late update and short chapter :( but I have big things planned for the chapters ahead :)

Much Love ❤️

Xx)

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