The Youngest of the Family

Chapter Fifteen: Scattered, around the old and fragile piece of paper

Turn away

If you could get me a drink

Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded

Call my aunt Marie

Help her gather all my things

And bury me in all my favorite colors.

NICOLE'S POV:

After the party, that night things around the house and around people that I didn't know seemed to get easier. I guess it is true what they say. If you work at anything you can overcome it. I seemed to be getting better at hold back my anxiety. With that came anger issues. I would quit getting scared and start getting mad. When I would have passed out over anxiety instead, I just get very angry. I never got angry at dad's fans, I'm always sweet with them even when they piss me off. I mostly get mad at myself and I throw things. For example, the other day my computer died because I didn't charge it and it just shut down on me and I got mad and I threw my cup of lemonade across the room and almost broke a lamp. That is so uncalled for, but at the time I didn't see how crazy it was. Maybe I should talk to Brendon about this.

"Hey dad?" I yell from upstairs.

"Yes sweetheart"

"Are you busy?"

"A Little. What do you need?"

"To talk."

"Come on down. You know it's no question if you need to talk."

So I go downstairs to see him closing the top to his piano. Crap I interrupted his music. No, I never wanted to get in the way of his music. It's too late now. He's lost whatever flow he was on. When I get down there I sit on the couch criss-cross facing him.

"Okay." I take a deep breath and then let it out slow. Why was this so hard?

"I think that my anxiety is going away."

"That is amazing that's great!"

Little does he know that i'm not done.

"Yeah, that part is great and all but, I think it has turned into anger issues."

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday, I was on my laptop and I knew it was about to die because I didn't charge it. When it died I got so mad and I threw my glass of lemonade across the room. That is really excessive. There's no need for anger like that."

"Everyone goes through a part in life where they are mad at the world and any little thing can set them off. Trust me I went through it when Sarah left, but it will die down and you will learn how to control it. It may sound stupid but it's okay. You're not bipolar or anything." He says laughing, and maybe he's right. I'm not sure I just don't like the way I've been acting. Maybe it's all my medicine. I have medicine for anxiety, that I don't take much anymore. I have some for the seizures I have, and I have to take it or else I risk having a seizure and the medicine don't completely stop them, it just lowers the risk of seizures. Then I have medicine for my ADHD. I don't know I'll think about it later. I just smile.

"Okay, well i'm going up to my room."

"Why don't you stay? You can help me on these lyrics. I'm stuck. That doesn't happen a lot so you know I need help" He says laughing.

"Sure." I say and I go and sit at his piano with him.

Still

I will not kiss you