The Youngest of the Family

Chapter Eleven: Before I could even think

She says she's no good

With words but i'm worse

Barely stuttered out a joke

Of a romantic stuck to my tongue

NICOLE'S POV:

I wake up laying on the bench in the van. I look up see Dallon looking over me while I sleep. I close my eyes and hear him tell Brendon I woke up. "Thanks Dal." He says. I can imagine the look that may be on his face. Disappointed. I'm his daughter, I should be able to handle that. Before I can really even think the words spill out of me like vomit.

"I'm sorry Dad." I see him smile because I call him 'dad'. I didn't mean to. It just happened. I guess that's when you know it's the right time to address an adopted parent like that. When it just happens.

"Sorry for what Nicole?" He says as he looks at me confused.

"For not being able to handle a crowd like you can. For disappointing you." I say as I sit up and lower my head.

"Disappointing me? Do you really think that I am disappointed?"

I look up at him not knowing what to say.

"No. Never would I be disappointed in you. Why would you even think about something like that?"

"Well I know how important it may be to you that I can get up on stage with you and be able to talk to your fans and if all I do is faint when I get out there you can't really have me out there. I would be disappointed." I say almost in a mumble.

"Well i'm not. It's not something I should be disappointed about. You have an extreme case of anxiety. I completely understand that."

"I what?" Now this is news to me.

"You have an extreme case of social anxiety. You didn't know that?"

"I knew I had anxiety. I didn't know I had an extreme case of it. How did you know?"

"We took you to the doctor right after the show and explained what happened and they asked if you had passed out before and I told them about that time at Patrick's and then when you seemed extremely anxious at the mall and they said that you seem to have an extreme case of anxiety. To try and keep you out of situations that could put you into an anxiety attack as you could pass out and it is bad for your health.

I listen to him and it's hard to comprehend the words that are coming from his mouth. My heart starts racing and my eyes start to water. Then I feel a hand touch my shoulder. "Honey don't worry I won't make you do anything that you aren't mentally comfortable with." Brendon says. That's when I knew everything would be okay. When Brendon says 'Don't worry' he means it.

We get home later that night and I get a piggy back ride up to my room and fall into sleep when I realize that Brendon can't keep me from the anxiety that my dreams give me.

I wake up to the front door being slammed open. Then I hear Brendon's voice. "What are you doing here? You are not welcome and you need.." Then I hear him drop to the floor. I wrap up in my blanket pretending to be asleep. I hope that whoever is here would leave me alone because I didn't see anything.  As I am trying to pretend to be asleep I hear footsteps come up the staircase. The door to my room bangs open and I still pretend to be asleep. Before I know it I am being jerked from my bed by no one other than Luke. He has a baseball bat in one hand and my arm in the other. As I am struggling to get away from him he slaps me across the face.

I wake up to Brendon crouched beside my bed. Apparently this nightmare was bad. I've never worried Brendon like this before. He looks at me with tears in his eyes that are now scared. This is going to be one hell of a conversation. I smile and he does to. He starts to say something and I cut him off. 

"I don't wanna talk about it right now"

"Okay. Can I ask you one thing?"

I nod my head. It shouldn't be too bad of a question. He can't know much of what I dreamed about.

"Who is Luke?" My expression dropped from confident to scared in a matter of seconds.

"Why? Is he here? How does he know where I am?" I say scared. Then I realize that he's not here. I had said his name while I was dreaming. Now I have to tell Brendon who he is and why I was so scared.

I'm two quarters and a heart down

And I don't wanna forget how your voice sounds

These word are all I have so I write them

I need them just to get by

BRENDON'S POV:

I don't understand who Luke is and why Nicole is so afraid that he's "found her." I leave her to herself for a moment. 5 minutes later she comes downstairs and sits beside me on the couch.

"Hey dad?" She says, still slightly shaking from the dream.

"Yes?"

"I think I can tell you who Luke is now"

"Only if you want to. Don't talk about anything if you aren't mentally ready." I say rubbing her shoulder.

"I know and I think i'm ready."

I smile and she starts the story of who Luke is.

"When I was four like I have told you before my uncle murdered my parents. Well before that I had a half brother. He left to New York when he was 7 to live with his mother. I was 2 at the time. When he got word of what had happened to my parents he blamed me and said that I should have tried to save them. Two years after my parents murder he came to the foster home to visit. He got me in a room alone and that's where things went bad."

I am trying to comprehend what she's saying. Surely he didn't rape her.

"He didn't..." I trail off trying not to say it.

"No no. He told me that the next time he seen me he would hurt me to the point where I wanted to die. But he was going to let me linger on the line of life and death." She says this now crying. I'm happy that she told me but I just wish that I could take all this pain that she has, away from her.

The next two days seemed rough on her. For some reason she walked around like she was scared of everything that moved. I have come to wonder if he really hit her that day. These dreams are bringing back the horrible past and hindering her from having a bright future.

We are walking into the grocery store when Nicole stopped dead in her tracks with a dead, scared look in her eyes. I don't understand what she seen that could make her scared. She pulls me straight out of the store.

"Nicole stop! Nicole! Please stop! Nicole What's wrong?"

"That's Luke!" she says running from me to get in the car. I fall to my knees and my first thought is to call Zack, but I can't move. What if he gets to her? What if he hurts my little girl? He can't take her from me, she's all I have.

Dance ,dance

We're falling apart to halftime

Dance, dance

And these are the lives we love to lead

Dance, this is the way they'd love

If they knew how misery loved me

//Dance,Dance - Fall Out Boy//
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(A/N: pictures are based on the song I use for each story for example dance dance by fob with a picture of Patrick Stump.  Much love Xx)

1338 words