Loneliness was a familiar word that he often spoke silently to himself, but it never dawned on him that those ten letters could actually be a feeling. He'd tried to fill his heart since he was a child, desperate for the name of what he felt. He didn't realize that the entire time he was trying to dispel his own loneliness. He didn't realize until that day that it had taken him twenty-six years to accomplish it and also to learn how to love. Yet he ruined it in one night.
Even the lush green that encased him, the trees that surrounded him, the solid concrete beneath him, none of them could truly shake the impending storm on the horizon of his mind. A storm that had no eye. It was sink or swim, and unfortunately, he wasn't good at swimming.
He pushed through the struggle and the strife, but there just seemed to be more and more piled up. It was a cycle, it seemed. A never ending cycle that suffocated him; that crushed his lungs and made tangible the weariness that clung to his bones.
Everyday, it seemed, he woke up, went to his routine job, came home, and slept. Then it repeated all over again. The only way he could survive was in his memories—in his mind. At least he had them.
And he had her. The only thing that made this never ending spiral all worth it was them and her.
Until he didn't have her anymore.
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Regret Me Not | 김석진
FanfictionSome moments become more vivid with the passage of time. Yesterday's many encounters and separations existed for this moment. Every alley and crossroad I walked through were all meant to lead me to this very place. That kind of moment is what I mean...
