How to Lose your Best Friend

♡LXXX♡

Eagle

As soon as the night began I couldn't wait for it to be over. PJ didn't waste any time trying to get in my pants. Whether we were on the dance floor, the bathroom, or against the lockers his lips were pressed against mine. Sure, I didn't really mind because I was used to his affectionate nature but I really wasn't having it tonight.

To my surprise, the night was going by surprisingly fast and the prom court had already begun to announce queen and king. It was no surprise that Antonio won and it was only natural for the curious minds of the teenagers around us to question who he wanted to be his queen.

It wasn't a big concern of mine that quite a few people thought that it was me. I knew that statement was obviously false but my proof would be most likely overlooked by the average eye.

The first time I saw Antonio this year was when he was in a panic over someone named Peyton not showing up to class. I watched as he screamed, cussed, and ran out of the classroom crying. I later learned that Peyton was PJ's first name. I'd never bothered to ask him about it because I assumed that he just didn't like his first name because it was something embarrassing but the name Peyton was beautiful.

At first, I didn't think too much about Antonio's strange strange obsession about PJ's well being. I mean we all knew that PJ was unstable and Antonio was his best friend. I didn't start to suspect anything weird going on between them until the night Blair assaulted me.

When Antonio told me that he spent the night with someone I had already assumed that it was PJ. I Highly doubted that PJ would return home to his parents and I couldn't recall giving him directions to my hiding spot. When Antonio texted me the next morning freaking out about some type of strange marks that were left on his body it was confirmed. I recognized his hickey's immediately as PJ's marking and I wasn't even surprised. I could tell how much Antonio loved PJ and I'm sure PJ could tell as well. I assumed that PJ had used that to his advantage and poor unsuspecting Antonio just fell for his games.

PJ didn't want anything with Antonio. He just wanted someone to fuck. It wasn't going to be me so I guess he found someone else to screw around with. The day after this happened PJ was freaking out because he had no idea how to cope with the situation. He acted overly affectionate as if that was supposed to prove that he loved me and that cheating on me was just a careless mistake.

Sure, I couldn't care less if he cheated on me with Antonio. I was personally glad that he had someone else to mess around with. What hurt me more was the fact that he pretended it never happened. Not only to me but to Antonio. Every time we passed Antonio in the hallway he'd throw up a quick wave and rush away as if Antonio was his least favorite teacher. I saw the pain in Antonio's eyes as PJ ignored him back then and I saw the pain in his eyes as he stood at the top of the stage holding his crown.

I could choose to ignore his stares at my so-called boyfriend but it hurt far too much. It's one thing to be falling in love with someone who will never love you back. But something about Antonio and PJ was different. Not only had Antonio fallen for PJ. but he was drowning. Drowning in his own self-despair and drowning in the pain of watching PJ make his same mistake.

Antonio fell for someone who would never return his feelings. The person he fell for was in the same situation. The only difference was that PJ was in a relationship with the person he fell for. But maybe that would only hurt him more. When someone rejects your love you can try to move on. But when you've got them wrapped in between your arms claiming them as yours it's a little harder not to fall in love.

So do I blame myself? For going out with PJ again even though I knew I could never return my feelings? It would only hurt him more when I couldn't show him the love that he needed. My occasional kisses and just going along for the ride wasn't going to suit him forever. He was going to want more and that's what Antonio was giving him. The only problem with that was that PJ didn't love Antonio. He just needed someone to soothe his pain.

I'm sure PJ would never admit it but part of me believes that he's not completely blind to our situation. I'm sure that he's aware of our unleveled relationship and that his side of emotions was way stronger than mine. He weighed me down and I didn't know it that would cause the end of me, him, or both of us.