♡XLI♡

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Eagle

I'm not blind to the fact that Blair was watching my every move the moment he spotted me walk into our high school. I tried to ignore his presence but every thought that came to my mind went to him. Everything he does makes my heart race and I can't even think straight.  But somehow I just can't stop thinking about him and it is killing me.

I hate his voice. Why did he have to sound so soothing when he sang? The perfect vibration in between each breath. The way he smiled at me whenever he sang to me.

I hate his mouth and every single word that falls out. Why did he have to ever ask me out? Why did he feed his overwhelming emotions into my mind? Every word he says to me seems to corrupt my mind more and more making it harder and harder to tell what to believe. Why did he think that I'd want to be friends with benefits?

I hate his touch. Why did he have to invite himself into my home even though it was clear that he was not welcome? Why did he think it was okay to caress my bare skin against his?

I hate his lips. Why did they have to interlock so perfectly with mine? I never should've let him kiss me but I did. Maybe if I was harder to get he'd give up and leave me alone. I was so easily tempted by him and to this day I still can't resist him. One request and he gets it immediately. I could never say no to him even though it continues to hurt me.

I hate how bad I want to seal his kiss. Why doesn't he realize how much he's hurting me? Is he blind to the way he's been treating me? Does he think that everything between us is okay? I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I doubt that Blair ever thinks about anyone besides himself. It's not like he does it on purpose but he never puts himself in anyone else's shoes beside his own.

I hate his face. How I get lost in the pool of rootbeer that are his eyes. How his cheeks blush up whenever he sees me. How his eyebrows raise every time he gets closer to me and that stupid smirk on his face whenever he's about to do something dumb.

Sometimes I really hate this kid. So why is he all that I've been thinking of?

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