How to Lose your Best Friend

♧VII♧

PJ

    So about that girl, Eagle. I fucking love her but I've screwed shit up so much that I don't even know how she'd ever forgiven me. Forcing myself on her at a party definitely wasn't the way to her heart and I realize that now but I didn't at the time. Losing her has to be the biggest loss of my life. Shit, that girl is my life. What am I even saying? I'm a downright mess without her.

She never knew about my home life and I hoped that she'd never find out. Being with her was the only thing keeping me going but without her I'm nothing. To my mother, I'm a waste of her time and money. It's gotten to the point that she feels the need to beat me when there's no one else to blame. To my father, I'm his mistake that he just has to take account for. To my father's liquor store I'm their most valuable customer. It's become my only escape from my parents and it's the only thing that helps me sleep at night.

I'd wish for Eagle back in my life but I don't want to drag her down with me. She's so much better without me and I'm happy for her. She's accomplished so much without me in her life and she's following her dreams without any regrets. That's the way it should be. As long as she's happy I'll be happy. At least I wish I could be. Too bad it isn't that easy.