The Failed Attempts//Ivar the Boneless [AU]

Attempt #13 - The Path to Becoming Stronger

United States, Illinois 2017 AD

Date: December 30, 2017

Once Amadeus and Ivar had recovered from their colds, they started to spend more time together. During that time, Amadeus had started to take self-defense classes in secret. She hoped that if she took them and became stronger that maybe she'd be able to defend herself against any attack in the future. Ivar, not knowing this, was becoming jealous thinking that she was spending time with someone else.

He constantly thought, "I'm a cripple, of course, the kiss meant nothing. Of course, she'd find herself a "real" man." He wanted Amadeus all to himself, though he constantly denied that to himself. He wasn't supposed to like anyone here, trust anyone here. He was supposed to be finding a way back home, back to where he was born. He wasn't supposed to be making friends and kissing girls. He felt like he was failing, he so badly wanted to go home and kill Eir, that wretched witch, but deep down in his heart, he also wanted to stay here with Amadeus. 

If the time came and he did find a way home. Would she come with him? Would she give up her life here to be with him? Would she be willing to go thousands of years into the past? He didn't think she'd be willing to, he knew that he should give up on her. He wasn't even a 'real man', he couldn't please her or give her children. All he would do was hurt her. He knew that he needed to stop this...thing they had before he couldn't leave her behind. 

But, he didn't want to. He wanted to trap her in her old room and pepper her with kisses. He wanted to feel her soft lips on his again. He wanted her to give up herself to him. He wanted her to bend to his will and love him. He wanted her to come willingly and show him the love he has always secretly craved. 

He was almost becoming obsessive and he was scared. Scared that he'd scare her away when she saw his temper. He was afraid that she'd leave him in his own dark world, alone again. He was afraid that if he lost himself in her that she'd eventually turn her back on him when she couldn't take his temper and childish behaviors. 

Amadeus was just as scared. She was scared that the kiss they shared meant nothing. She was scared that he would leave her to her mind again. She didn't know what she'd do if she was lost in her dark universe again. In the back of her mind, she could feel her demons hands reaching for her, ready to bring her back to the dark side. Ivar had saved her from them for a time and now being with him again, she felt safe. 

She didn't want to let him go, she wanted him to stay with her forever. Until he was drowning in her sickening aura. Until he had succumbed to her secret desires. She wanted him to take her with him when he went back to his homeland, but she also didn't want to leave Avon. She was confused and agitated, she loved them both, but she couldn't stay with both of them. 

-_-

Avon had moved back into the apartment, but after returning she wasn't sure if she wanted to live here anymore. She loved Amadeus, but she enjoyed her time with Lander so much. He had asked her to move in with him the day after Amadeus came to the house. She had asked for time, which he granted patiently, even if he wanted her to reject him if she was going to reject him or accept him if she was going to accept him. 

It ate Lander alive that he had been waiting for over a month, several dates later, and still, she hadn't given him an answer. His calm demeanor was shattering with each passing day, he needed her. He hoped that she'd accept and live with him. He loved to come home from a long day at work and walking into his house to be greeted by a smiling Avon. He enjoyed each kiss she placed on his lips and cheeks when he walked in the door. He enjoyed her lack of concerning regarding the prying eyes of his maids and guards as she kissed him. 

He enjoyed being able to go bed with her cuddled into his side. He was smitten, whipped, he couldn't stop himself from being lost in her beautiful bright blue eyes. She was like an angel, pure, sweet and beautiful. Every time he saw her, he fell more in love. He couldn't have been happier when she had first confessed her feelings. He was plagued with love for her long before her confession. 

Avon took a deep breath as she stared at her cell phone, he finger hovering over Lander's contact. She clicked it fast, in an attempt to not back out. Her heart was beating out of her chest with each passing moment. Suddenly, the phone was answered by a calm Lander. 

"Hello?" he called through the phone, secretly hoping that she was calling to accept his offer.

"Lander," Avon spoke, sounding serious, "I have an answer to your question."

"What's your answer?" he asked almost impatiently. 

"....Yes, I'll move in with you," she breathed out, tears coming out of her eyes for a reason unknown to her.

For the first time, Lander smiled at the office, his smile was wide and filled with happiness. 

"I'm so glad."

Avon smiled down at her lap, happy that Lander was happy. After a few more minutes of talking, she hung up, content with herself, but still slightly nervous. 

Now to tell Amadeus. 

_-_

Amadeus took the news relatively well, though she was slightly upset that her friend had talked to her beforehand. She helped Avon pack all her things together and load them into the moving truck. She even threatened Lander a little and made him promise to take care of her friend. All in all, Amadeus was happy for Avon and Lander, they seemed really happy together. Even her selfish side that didn't want Avon to leave, could see that and let them go. 

Amadeus now having the apartment to herself knew she needed to find a roommate, but she didn't know anybody who would, one, be willing to live with her and, two, have the money to pay half the rent. She searched for a little while till Aria and Lakota proposed an idea. An idea that Amadeus may or may not like.