Sincerely, Millie

Chapter 13 - Tears and Family Time

This is the second time I'm writing this chapter but sadly I lost the first one. I was proud of it, I even cried writing it... maybe a little when I lost it too. Okay, a lot. :(

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My conversation with Chris had left my mind boggled to say the least. I told myself that I'd stay away from him but he didn't exactly make that easy for me to do. So, for the rest of the day, I tried my best to clear my thoughts of anything 'Chris' related which was hard since I have a son... who was also his son... who I saw everyday. It was also especially hard to not think about since basically everything reminded me of him: the barn, the stables and basically every room in the god damned house. 

Naturally, I did what any rationally sane person would do. I hid. I didn't say I was proud of it. But I hit... for a little over 5 hours. Hey, it isn't my fault, okay? I needed some alone time. Anyway, I'm in one of the most obvious places in the house and I'm sure my father, at least, knows where I am. 

As for where I am, I'm in the attic. I like it here, it's peaceful. The quiet sound of birds chirping in the morning and tree's hustling in the cold winter's night breeze, is the only sound hear. That's how I like it. 

I spent the majority of my high school days in this room, solely for the purpose of peace and tranquillity. It wasn't until a few months after I spent almost everyday here that my father found out and basically forced my brothers to help me 'renovate' it, so to say. You see, before the beautiful snow white walls that outlines the room and plush ruby carpet that lines the floor, was a possibly deadly and probably haunted, dark old room. Like a stereotypical attic, you know? 

Nobody asked me why I spent so much time up here, they kinda just went along with it; I always wondered why though, I mean, for all they know I was getting as high as a kite or off my head with alcohol. Now that I think about it, they would probably know if I was doing that, I'm not the best actor. 

Anyways, this place is my safe haven. I come here to breath. To relax. But most of all, I come here to forget, temporarily of course, I mean, I was joking about the drugs. 

Turning the page of the novel in my hands, 'Wuthering Heights', I don't even bother reading the page; I'd read it enough times to be able to recite it. And yes, I did steal it from Esme but in my defence she stole it from me first, so it's basically just taking back what was taken away. 

Weirdly enough, my favourite character had to be Heathcliff, I mean, sure he comes off as an inhuman monster but at first his intentions were pure. He fell in love, plain and simple. Then Catherine betrayed him when he went away to prove himself. Most people find it hard to come to terms with the concept that he hates just as deeply as he loves meaning he is despised as much as he is pitied.

Skimming page after page, I stand up from the window seat and walk over the cream coloured couch that sit in the centre of the small room. I still remember the day my brothers spent struggling to get this in here, I spent most of my time toppling over with laughter but it's okay cause mom did too. 

Shaking the delirious thought from my head, I pull my legs onto the couch, crossing them partially. I spent hours reading book after book until finally my brain gives way and stops processing the words that lay on the pages. Knowing that I had been up here long enough, I start towards the door that leads to the staircase, hoping Alex isn't still with Wren and Max who had arrived here earlier this morning, after Lennox and I came back from the stables. 

Going to open the matte white door, I'm brought face to face with the last person I want to be alone with right now, or ever for that matter.

"Hey" He says "I figured you'd be up here"