bad boy next door [austin mahone]

Chapter Twenty-One

~Sierra Sparks~
 
Today is the day I get to find out what’s on the disc. I make my way over to the piles of CDs, looking at the certain one for about 10 minutes. I don’t dare touch it. I just stare at it. I don’t get why everyone wants this. I really want to know why, but something tells me not to look at it. I’d forgotten about the disc for a while now. I figured out it wasn’t a CD, yet sometimes I call it that. It’s a disc. It’s a disc that holds a video that holds a secret.
 
I figured it’s a secret video for the killing of Tommy. That boy Austin is said to have killed. I’m afraid to look at the disc because I don’t want to witness Austin killing someone. In my gut, I feel like it was him all along, but for a good reason. I don’t think he did it for a bad reason. Austin isn’t like that.
 
My heart stops as I realize I may be with someone who killed someone…
 
I can’t accept that. Not now. I can’t accept that my Austin is a murderer… He killed someone and me watching this tape… I’d basically have blood on my hands too. I’d know who killed the kid… I would have witnessed it I think. Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there isn’t anything bad on that disc.
 
Maybe it’s not a murder scene maybe it’s… a family home video of Austin. Maybe I’m just over analyzing the fact my boyfriend may be a murder. Wait boyfriend? No. He’s not my boyfriend.
 
I feel a pang in my heart. He’s not my boyfriend… Wow. What am I then to him? Do I even mean anything to him?
 
I sit down on my bed, my head falling into my hands. I just start to cry for some reason. I’d just been holding in all of my worries. I cry hard, letting out what I’d just been dying to let out. I am just so worried for myself and Austin. I don’t want Austin to hurt me, yet I don’t want me to hurt Austin. I don’t want Austin to get hurt. I care for him so much.
 
I’m in love with him.
 
I have to admit it. I am in love with Austin Carter Mahone. I’ve found out so many things about him that I’ve learned to open up and love. I love him. I don’t love my mom, or my dad. I love him so much. I can turn to him. I can’t turn to my parents, or even my little brother Tannor. I can always count on Austin. If I watch that tape will my love for him change? That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t want to fall out of love with this amazing boy.
 
I don’t want to see something I can’t accept already. When I’m ready to accept it… I’ll watch the disc.
 
But what if it wasn’t Austin who killed him? What if I expect it to be him and it wasn’t him? What if I’m wrong? I want to be wrong. I want it to not be Austin who killed him, which is selfish. I should love Austin even if he did kill someone. He probably had good reasons. I can’t watch this… I can’t. If I can’t accept the thought of him killing him, I have to wait to watch it. I’m not ready to watch this. For now I need to believe Austin when he says he didn’t kill him. I have to trust Austin.
 
I grab my phone, dialing Austin’s number that I remembered by heart. He picked up with one ring, and I immediately start to cry, “Austin- I can’t watch it… I can’t do it.”
 
“Babe, don’t cry. I’ll be over in two seconds. I can’t believe I made you cry,” he whispers, his voice breaking a bit. I hate how he’s blaming himself for this, but before I can say something back the line goes dead.
 
Then in through my window comes Austin. He immediately rushes to me, sitting on my bed and pulling me into his lap. I grip onto his t-shirt, crying. I just lost it for a stupid reason. I believe this is the first time Austin has ever seen me cry. He looks so broken too. He holds me close, rocking me back and forth.
 
“Ssh baby girl,” he coos into my ear. His voice is soothing to me. It makes me feel safe, yet I can’t control my tears.
 
“A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather…” he sings to me, continuing to rock me back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. I focus on his voice, trying to calm myself. His singing goes that for me, making me melt into his grasp. My grip on his shirt fully loosens. I now just cuddle into him, listening to him sing me to sleep. I feel my eye lids, getting weak as his arms bring me closer. He makes me feel more comfortable by putting me in a new position. I focus on his voice, drifting off into a nice sleep.
 
~ Austin Mahone~
 
I did this. I made her cry, right? Some how this is my fault. Right? It has to be. I hurt the girl I care about. The one girl I put first, I hurt. But knowing that she trusts me, and won’t look at the tape is a relief.
 
I just don’t want her to find out who really did kill Tommy…