Shattered (girlxgirl)

Shattered

Back at home I lay down on the couch with the television going but not that I'm paying attention. My sister walks in, she turns to me and sighs.

"Are you okay?" I shrug.

"You need to start moving on." I look down at my lap and sigh.

"I can't." I say sadly.

Violet has been moved to a foster home Two hours drive from my town. Two hours I don't really have to spare every day. I haven't seen her since she moved there two weeks ago.

She messaged me, tells me how much she misses me, then the next instance she is telling me I need to move on from her that she doesn't want me to get hurt and that it won't work because she can't travel down here and I can't travel to her unless it's my day off.

She goes to talk to me again but I stand up and walk into my room. Not bothered to fight with my sister. I get changed into my police uniform, ready for the afternoon/night shift.

I walk back out ignoring her look, telling me she's not done with this. I keep going to the door and get into my car. I sit and sigh, leaning my head on the steering wheel. I start the car up and pull myself together. I had no choice but to get on with each day.

Part of me wants to let go of her completely. Tell her to find someone else. She's so much younger than me. She deserves to have a stable normal childhood before she has to grow up.

But the other half of me is so in love with her, it'll ruin me if I have to leave her. She has messaged me, wanting for us to meet up. I keep telling her I'm busy. But I can't keep doing that. I need to see her if I have to say goodbye.

But if I see her I'll not want to say goodbye. The turmoil of emotions are getting the better of me. More forceful in my actions, short replies in conversations and I have been drinking more than usual.

I park my car in front of the police station. Turning it off, I undo my seatbelt and get out. Trying to force myself out of the depressive state I've been in.

I walk into the precinct and see Aaron. I smile and he wraps his arms around me.

"You need to stop hugging me every time you see me. I'll start to cry." He gives a soft laugh and lets me go. I smile and sit down at my desk.

"Has he given tasks today?" Aaron nods.

"You and I are on patrol with police van." I nod my head.

The police van is the 4wD looking police car with the jail cell like compartment on the back.

"Alright. Are you driving or am I?" I ask him. He smiles.

"I'm driving." I laugh and nod my head.

"Alright." We walk down to the van and get in. Setting up all the radios to the right station and checking everything is in place.

We start to drive the streets mindlessly. Nothing to really worry about. Stopping for lunch. I sigh as I look at my phone. Texts from violet.

She is telling me she misses me, that she wants to meet up. I don't know how to tell her what I know I have to tell her.

"You need to tell her. You're both miserable being stuck in this situation." I sigh and glance at Aaron who had read my text.

"I know. I just don't know how I'll have the strength to." I say.

"You may not feel like you will. But you will because you know it's the right thing to do. Because you love her." I look at him for a few seconds, without saying anything then look down.

"You're right. I'm going to see her tonight and tell her." I say as I text violet.

Aaron nods and soon after it's back to business as usual. I had messaged violet to meet her at her local park after I finish work.

"Just take some deep breaths. Get changed and get over there." Aaron says I sit on the bench in the change room while he changes next to me.

"I'll try." I say. I stand up and move to my locker in the change room.

"It'll get better." He says remorsefully before leaving.

I sigh and lean my head against the locker. My eyes closed and. After breath running through my lungs.

I love her.

But I have to let her go.