33 ♫ navigating the new world

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♫ Present

♫ Rory

I woke up startled to be in Demi's arms but I quickly relaxed remembering that I had let her back in. I sighed softly as I looked down at her arm that had been wrapped around me seeing it bare and uncovered by foundation which was what I assumed she had done for so many years. I saw the word faith and the birds then wondered what it really meant to her. My eyes then trailed to word strong remembering she had the word stay on the other wrist to match. Stay strong. I then noticed the scars when she had self harmed and my heart ached. This was my mama, the woman many teenagers looked up to as I did and I didn't even know until a few days ago that this woman was my mama who I had always looked up to. I turned around slowly to face Demi who was snoring softly with a calm expression on her face and I smiled. I noticed the freckles on her face which I was also jealous of then my eyes gazed to the bags under her eyes noticing how tired she really was. I sighed as I felt tears build up in my eyes and I quickly shallowed them back. I wish she just told me who she really was.. I told her I forgave her but I still feel like I have lost the image of my mama because of the truth. I have now felt like I have missed out on getting to know my mother because I only knew the part she had decided to show me. It really isn't fair but I just don't want to always be mad at her because I want my mama. I want her to look after me.. I want to have the midnight chats we used to have.. I want my mama. I want her for who she is..Every piece of her - I want it! I want to get to know these parts of her and learn about her. Tears rolled down my eyes as she stirred in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open to look into mine.

"Baby, what's the matter hey?" She whispered with concern on her face as she used her index finger to wipe the tears that were slowly falling down my eyes. I shook my head and shallowed my spit but she gave me a sad frown. "Darling girl, did you have a bad dream?"

"Mama.." I cried as I moved closer into her chest and she held me tightly as she softly whispered reassurance to me and rubbed my back. "I feel lost." We pulled apart and we rested our heads on the pillow to look at each other.

"Lost?"

"I feel like I have entered into a different world where there is no directions.." I spoke softly to answer her confusion. "I wish I knew.. How to accept this world and to learn strategies to navigate but.."

"It's just too hard." Mama whispered with awareness of what I meant with a nod. "This won't be easy baby but I can tell you that we will get through these barriers and find our way back.. With time and persistence." I nodded and she smiled sadly at me as she placed some of my hair behind my ear. I looked into her brown eyes which were watching me contently then I looked behind her where a picture of her and I sat untouched from when I had my meltdown a few days ago. She looked back and noticed the picture too as I sighed. "I know there is a lot about me that you never got to see, baby and that there is a lot of me that I have wanted to keep hidden from you but I realized that you needed to see me fully from the start." She whispered as she looked back at me then sat up as I stayed lying down. She then got out of bed and we both noticed the sun was now setting into the early evening. She put her hand out and I took it with trust as I got out of bed then we walked to her bedroom. She grabbed a suitcase and threw it onto her bed then opened it as I stood there.

"What are..." Sudden realization of what she was showing me was wigs.. A whole lot of wigs. "Wigs." I stated as I looked up at Mama with shock and she nodded.

"To start out the process of navigating this new world is to get rid of the remains of the old world." She stated out gently as she grabbed the wigs and placed them in a box then we walked out to the garage where Mama's second car was and we got in. With silence, Mama drove through the busy L.A. streets and I watched as the sun set as Mama stole a few glances towards me whilst she drove. "I didn't realize how beautiful the sunset is especially in L.A." Mama whispered as she parked next to a quiet beach where bonfires can be lit. I nodded as I admired the sunset too. I looked over at Mama with a smile and then got of the car as she followed. I walked down to the water and I noticed a flash. I turned around to see a happy Mama looking down at her phone and I laughed for the first time in a while.

"Did you just take a photo of me?" I questioned as she looked up and nodded.

"My little baby girl is growing up way to fast." She stated to justify taking a picture then she showed me the picture that was posted on her real instagram.

ddlovato: @Rorysaur My darling baby girl 😍 I made so many decisions that have impacted the most important people to me and still

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ddlovato: @Rorysaur My darling baby girl 😍 I made so many decisions that have impacted the most important people to me and still.. You are gentle and loving towards me, Rory even though I have hurt you in a way I didn't think would ever be forgiven, you have open up your heart back to me and there is nothing in this world that I will let your heart get hurt again. ❤ from your grateful mama who will always to her very best to make this up to you!

My eyes welled up as I looked back into her loving eyes and I embraced her in a hug. I then got my iPhone out my pocket and took a picture of her in front of the sunset then made my post on my instagram.

 I then got my iPhone out my pocket and took a picture of her in front of the sunset then made my post on my instagram

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Rorysaur: @ddlovato to my 💟 - you are my mama! You are human and you only can do your best.. And that is all I ever wanted. I am extremely grateful for the sacrifices that you did to protect me. You did it out of love.. I love you very much. 💞 from your second born baby girl, Rory.

I looked up at mama who turned around as soon as her phone beeped to look at the picture I took and smiled at me. I know there is a lot of learn about this new world we have found ourselves in but now I finally believe that I have found my mama again..


Short fluffy chapter since I did update twice yesterday to hold my lovely readers for a bit. - Shaz 

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