Sexual Frustrations

24. Day of fun

"Good morning." I was woken from my peaceful slumber by the loud boisterous voice that I knew without even opening my eyes belonged to Carl.

"Morning." I grumbled rubbing the sleep from my eyes and sitting up. Carl was stood leaning against the door frame smirking at me. "What time is it?" I asked flopping back down into the comfort of the covers. Not ready to welcome the day yet, wishing for just a few minutes more of sleep.

"It's 8 o clock bright and early." He beamed walking over and sitting himself on the end of the bed. He was stupidly chirpy for it being so early in the morning.

"What did I do to deserve such a pleasant wake up?" I asked generally curious to what he was actually doing here in the first place. His appearance at Lips house at this time was not his normal behaviour.

"We have a day of fun planned that starts 9am sharp." He winked, looking really good while I probably looked like I'd been dragged out of hell.

"Since when did I plan this?" I tried but I couldn't really keep the smile from my face, his gesture was sweet and so not like Carl.

"I did." He winked again standing up. "Quick, shower and get ready and be down there for 8:30." And with that he shut the door.

...

Getting ready for a 'day of fun' when you actually have no idea the 'day of fun' entails is harder than it sounds. I decided to just wear shorts and a tshirt and assumed that we wouldn't be going anywhere fancy.

I walked down out to the kitchen and Carl was surprisingly making pancakes, what on earth is he up to.

"A morning wake up call with breakfast included?" I quizzed sitting myself on the bench as he whizzed around popping pancakes onto a plate. The pancakes reminded me of that morning we had together so long ago which maybe started our strange relationship.

"Yep you're getting the 5 star treatment today." He said pausing to look at me. When his eyes met mine my heart fluttered slightly and he stopped whatever he was doing. With two big strides he was stood in between my legs and his lips were pressed against mine.

As his tongue slowly massaged mine the fireworks erupted in my stomach and it didn't take long before my head felt light and my heart went crazy.

"Sorry," He said pulling away. "I wasn't gonna do that until later." His breath was as heavy as mine. "Couldn't help myself."

...

Soon after we ate breakfast and much to Carl's dismay, cleaned up the kitchen. We were off driving to god knows where. I was starting to enjoy our car rides. They were always filled with a comfortable silence, like we didn't feel the need to speak all the time for things to be comfortable between us. We were both just perfectly happy in each other's company.

After a half hour drive Carl pulled over again into some place that just sort of looked like no where. It was just a dirt gravel road with not a hell of a lot surrounding us.

"What are we doing here?" I asked confused. "You aren't gonna murder me are you?"

"Yeah came here to bury your body." He rolled his eyes clearly unimpressed with my joke. "We're going for a walk." A walk....definitely didn't seem like Carl's thing.

"Okay..." I said getting out the car after him I was still so confused. Since when did Carl go for walks. Since when was this something he'd consider a 'day of fun.'

"Just trust me." He said and so I did.

We walked and walked through a gravel trail, the scenery was quite pretty. The trial was surrounded by trees and plants which shaded us and provided a soothing breeze from the harsh sun.

Again we just walked in silence, our pace was a little faster than a stroll but it was almost therapeutic to just walk and walk with no direction. Just enjoy the silence and the company. I enjoyed the time I had to just think. To think about my life, to think about Carl and whatever the hell was going on between us.

...

"Here we are." Carl announced when we finally made it to the top of the painful hill we'd been climbing. I took a moment to catch my breath then looked at where we were.

It was so beautiful, like on top of the world. The hill we'd walked up looked out over the main part of the city and we could see just about everything. The wind was blowing, cooling us down and my breath was taken away.

"Wow." I whispered in awe of how nice the place I used to live actually was when you look at it from a distance. From up here you couldn't see the junkies and the drunks and the rubbish that littered the south side, from up here it was just beautiful.

"I know right." He smiled.

"How the hell do you know all these places?"

"I used to run up here sometimes." He said sitting down under the shade of the tree.

"You used to go running?" I laughed Carl exercising and visiting all these beautiful places seemed like such a foreign concept to me.

"Sometimes the drugs just didn't do it." He shrugged and I sat next to him.

...

"Look I wanted to talk to you about Emma..." Carl began, ruining yet another comfortable silence. My stomach and heart dropped at the topic of conversation. I felt like I'd just gotten over what happened there and I didn't really feel like reliving it.

"You don't have to..." I wanted to stop him but he wouldn't let me.

"No I do. I think I owe you a bit of an explanation at least."

"Carl I don't..."

"Please I just don't think we can really move forward unless it's all out in the open. Out of sight out of mind." He pleaded and I nodded. I really appreciated his good intentions although a part of me worried what he meant by moving forward.

"Okay do I did a really shitty thing Ava and I'm sorry," he sighed and I already wanted to but in and tell him to stop and that it was okay but I think he needed this more than I did.
"When you left it really fucked me up. Like really bad. I didn't want to speak to anyone I didn't want to see anyone, especially not them. I felt like whenever I saw them you should've been there and it sucked so I just stopped and cut ties. A few of them persisted with me and sort of spoke every now and then but Emma was just always there. At first I thought it was annoying I just wanted her to fuck off and leave me alone. I was so so angry at you I wanted to hate you so so bad. And she started talking about you, about how she hated you too about how you thought you were better than us..."
This was starting to hurt to listen to and the guilt was creeping up inside of me.
"I know she was wrong but I was just so angry it was easier to believe it then to be sad about it. So we started talking shit about you and it made me feel better to get it all out. To pretend that all I felt was anger. So one night she kissed me. And it took me a while but I kissed her back and then one thing led to another and..."

"Carl I don't wanna hear that!" I had to cut him off because I was beginning to feel sick hearing about their relations.

"Okay I'll cut out the details." He smirked trying to ease my discomfort.
"I felt so horrible after. I nearly called you and told you all about it but I just thought you'd hate me even more so I turned the guilt into even more anger. She kept coming over and kept trying and I don't know I guess it was just because she was there and I wanted to forget about you. But I feel so fucking bad and I hate myself for it. I wished it never happened but it did and I just wanted to say I'm really sorry."

Hearing his story made me feel so different. I couldn't explain it. It's like my heart physically warmed in my chest and my stomach fluttered. So I answered honestly,

"It's okay."