Sexual Frustrations

06. In between

When we walked into the house before I could say anything I was bowled over by a massive hug from Debbie.

"I can't believe you're back." She squealed wrapping her arms around me as if I might run away. I couldn't help but laugh. It felt good to see her again.

"I know." I laughed pulling away and taking in her appearance. She looked so much older now. She still wore her classic ginger hair and her face was still supported by a sea of freckles and that made me so happy.
"Let me see little Franny." I squealed and a little ginger girl came walking over and I could have cried.
"She's so big." I gasped taking in how much she'd grown.

"Say hi to Ava baby," Debbie coo'd picking up Franny in her arms. I could definitely see their resemblance it was so cute.

"Hi gorgeous." I smiled and the little girl blushed.

"Oh I have someone else for you to meet." Debbie beamed she moved out the way and sitting behind her was a ginger man sitting in a wheel chair. I presumed this was the boyfriend she'd been living with.
"Ava this is Neil."

"Hi nice to meet you." I smiled and he smiled back.

"You're hot." He blurred out unexpectedly. My eyes widened in shock as Debbie chastised him.

"I'll explain later." Fiona whispered. That would have to do for me.

...

We were all sat down around the dinner table, Kev and V even came over and it felt so much like the old days. We were all chatting and catching up, everyone was asking me about Australia and what it was like and how I was doing there. For the first time since I'd been here I didn't feel so guilty talking about it. No one seemed to resent me for moving. Everyone seemed to be really happy for me.

Just as Fiona was dishing up plates of food Carl strolled through the door. I had to wonder if his presence was ever going to stop shocking me the way it did. Everyone went silent as he awkwardly strolled into the kitchen. No one knew what to say and I gathered that no one was expecting his appearance.

"You stay in for dinner?" Fiona asked trying to remain as natural as possible but I could see the shock in her eyes.

"Yeah I guess so." He shrugged briefly looking up at me for a moment and my breathing got caught in my threat. "My plans fell through so why not." He tried to play it off but everyone still looked genuinely shocked.

"Well sit your ass down and let's eat." Veronica broke the silence and the room erupted with chatter again. Carl awkwardly sat down in a seat across from me and I felt just as uncomfortable as everyone else continued acting as normal as possible. I felt his eyes on me and I took the big plunge and looked up. We locked eye contact and my heart beat fastened dramatically. His face softened as he looked at me and I couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving him. And then when I saw all the signs of his drug problem etched into his skin and written all over his features I felt anger. Anger at him for doing this to himself and doing this to his family. It was so stupid and it wasn't like him at all. Except it was him.

...

Dinner cruised by without any hiccups and by the end Fiona was grinning ear to ear. It seemed as if even Carl's presence there was a huge deal for her and that made me happy. Even if it wasn't because of me I was just glad for her that it was happening.

As we were all standing up and getting ready to leave none other than Frank Gallagher walked through the door. Or stumbled through the door. He looked like shit just as usual, covered in cuts, bruises, stinking of alcohol. Seeing him like this now felt different though because I couldn't help but relate him to Carl. I really didn't want him to end up like his father but it seemed to be quite a similar path to what he was going down.

"Oh who had a family dinner and didn't invite me?" He slurred as he strutted through past all of us to the left overs. Everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes at his current state.

"Fuck off Frank." Lip snapped as we walked through to the front door.

"Hey, what is all this hostility for?" Frank whined turning around to face us and when he saw me he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Is that young Ava that I'm looking at right now?" He questioned and I didn't know whether to be flattered or embarrassed at the attention drawn to me.

"Sure is Frank." I sighed as he flashed a smile.

"Well if it isn't the love of my son's life..." he began rambling and everybody's eyes grew wide. The atmosphere just got real awkward real quick.

"Fuck off Frank." Carl spat before storming past us and heading straight out the door. I didn't blame him for leaving like that, it was very awkward having someone refer to what we used to have like that.

"What did I say wrong?" Frank hiccuped.

"Just shut the fuck up alright?" Lip snapped again and exited the house. I trailed behind him, having already bid by goodbyes. On the way home I couldn't quite decide if the night was a success or a disaster. Maybe in between the two was good enough.

...

The next day Lip had to go to work and I happily agreed to just spend the day hanging around his place. I was actually looking forward to getting a day to myself and possibly get my head in a better mind space. I woke up late having had the best sleep I'd had since I'd been here. Lip had already left for work so I helped myself to breakfast and headed straight for a shower.
I enjoyed the soothing feeling of the hot water pouring over my skin. I stayed in there for so long just losing myself in my thoughts and it was exactly what I needed. I knew a conversation was well needed between Carl and myself. We both owed ourselves that much. We both needed closure and I needed to at least try to do what I came here for and help him if he will at least let me. But I needed to acknowledge how great it had been to get to see everyone and see how everyone was doing. I didn't even realise how much I had missed them all.

Once I got out I pulled on my comfy clothes and quickly borrowed one of Lips jumpers as I sorted out my suitcase. My mind briefly flickered to the group of friends I had 3 years ago. I wondered what all of them were up to until a knock at the door distracted them.

I quickly made my to answer the door thinking that Lip might have forgotten something at work but I got the shock of my life when I saw who was standing there.

"Carl!?"