Sexual Frustrations

09. Emotions

Lip slowly made his way over to us and my heart began thumping erratically. He looked warn out and stressed, we all probably did. We were waiting here for a few hours nervously. Not knowing what to expect but hoping for the best.

"He's going to be okay." Lip sighed as we all stood up. I could physically see everybody relax. It was as if a massive weight was lifted.
"He's hooked up to an IV and they're assisting his breathing and monitoring his heart. They say he was really lucky we got him here when we did because any longer and he would've stopped breathing. They're gonna keep him in for a couple days just to make sure his brain didn't suffer any damage but they seemed confident he would be fine."

I stopped taking in what Lip was saying after I heard the words 'he's going to be okay' that was enough for me. That's what I needed to hear, we all did. Anything else was manageable as long as he would make it through.

"Lip what was it?" Fiona whispered. It was a question no one wanted to ask but everyone wanted to know. Although I don't know if I really did want to know.

"Heroin." Lip spat with a straight face although we could all see the underlying anger. We all probably felt that underlying anger but all I could feel was a sick nauseous wave come over me. If I wasn't so thankful for him being alive I probably could have killed him.

Walking into that room and seeing him lying there on the bed was horrible. His lifeless face was still out cold but with tubes attached to his nose to help him breathe. He looked sick. Really sick and weak and in need of help. I didn't know whether to be sympathetic or angry with him for what he did. But what I did know was that I sure as hell easing going to leave until he was better.

We all stayed for a little while just sitting with him in silence not knowing how to make this any better.

"We should get going Hun." V said to Fiona giving her a huge hug. I had completely forgotten how late it was. "Please ring us if you need anything or if anything changes." He begged and Fiona promised.

"We're gonna go catch up with Debs and let her know what's happening as well Fi," Ian said standing up with Lip.

"Do you mind if I stay here with you?" I asked Fiona and she nodded. I knew there was no way she'd be leaving him here yet and I didn't plan on it either.

We all gave each other big hugs goodbye and finally it was left to just me and Fiona sitting with him and that's how it stayed for the rest of the night. We didn't say much. We didn't need to. I could have confidently guessed we were both feeling roughly the same, angry, upset, relieved, guilty. So we sat with him by his side for the whole night train to find comfort and hopefully a few drops of sleep in those uncomfortable seats.

...

I woke up highly confused and extremely uncomfortable. It took a few moments for the memories of the night before to come flooding back to me. I looked up and Carl was still asleep in the same spot as I last remembered.

A few minutes later Fiona came back into the room holding two coffees and I could've kissed her out of gratitude.

"Thank you." I grumbled still trying to stretch out the damage those bloody chairs did to my body. "You manage to get any sleep?" I asked her.

"Barely." She sighed sitting back down. I didn't think I was going to but I must have eventually drifted off.

"I'm surprised I did with these chairs." I grumbled and she laughed agreeing. "Any word yet?" I asked motioning to Carl.

"No not yet they said he's likely to be out cold for a while." She sighed rubbing her temples.

"Shall I get us something to eat?" I asked. I didn't feel hungry but I knew we both were going to have to eat something.

"I dunno if I'll stomach anything." She half laughed and I agreed.

"Yeah me neither but we better try because we don't wanna pass out as well do we." I sighed and she laughed in agreement.

I made my way out the room and enjoyed the feeling of being able to stretch my legs and body. I still felt heavy from everything that had happened but I was starting to come to terms with it. I didn't have a choice. I quickly pulled my phone out and checked for messages.

From: Luke
Hope you're doing okay, talk soon? Xx

I mentally slapped myself when I read that message. I'd been so invested in everything going on here that I'd completely and utterly forgotten about my whole other life across the globe. Luke wasn't anyone special, well not really anyway. We worked together and we were good friends, and okay yeah maybe we had been sleeping together as well. I know I know you'd think I would have learnt my lesson but I hadn't. I didn't want a relationship I was quite happy with how things were but I'd completely forgotten about him since my feet touched back down here. I made a mental note to give him a ring later tonight and check in with work and everything but right now I had more important things to do.

I walked back into the room and handed Fiona a sandwich. Carl was still out cold and Fiona looked exhausted.

"God I probably smell so bad." She laughed as I sat myself back down in those awful chairs.

"Why don't you get home and have a nap and freshen up?" I suggested and she shook her head.

"I can't leave him." She whispered and I fully understood but we were both going to go insane if we just sat here and waited for him to wake up.

"Look I'll stay here with him you go home freshen up, eat, then we'll swap?" I suggested. "Won't do him any good if we both stink the room out when he wakes up." She laughed at my comment and nodded in agreement.

"Okay just promise you'll tell me if anything changes."

"Of course."

I sat by his bedside hardly moving a muscle as Fiona left to sort herself out. I begged for him to wake up but I honestly didn't even know what I'd say if he did. I wasn't sure if I was ready to address his drug problems just yet with him but I guess now the cat was well and truely out of the bag and sooner or later I'd have to.

When Fiona came back I'd drifted off to sleep unknowingly and she had to wake me up. I made my way back to Lips house and was thankful to find the house empty because as soon as I stepped through the door I turned into a blubbering mess. All the emotions from the past 24 hours caught up to me and I dropped to the floor in tears. I needed to though I needed to release these emotions and finally deal with them. Once I managed to pick myself up and get in a hot soothing shower.
The shower definitely helped and I got out feeling as though a weight had been lifted. Although my nerves spiked when I saw Fiona's name flash across my screen.

"Is everything okay?" I answered hoping that I'd hear good news.

"Ava he's awake! He's going to be fine."