A Tale of One Deviant (Book One)

Chapter 61: Six Months Later, 14th Month, Zerlo

     "The Demon did no harm," was my answer as I looked at the holy water being poured on it.

     The minute it touched the shriveled leaves, they fell into black dust.

     The dust was burned in a pyre, me standing in front of it as I thought about Aloire and the rest of the Demons. I remembered things that I wasn't supposed to, things that may suggest that Demons weren't completely evil.

     I also remembered things that suggested Demons were beyond redemption, beyond saving.

     Seeing me in deep, complicated thought, Father didn't question me anymore on the topic. He just stood by my side until the last ember dropped, many hours later into the night.

     Now, I sat on a bench that was a bit inside the ridiculously sized maze, thinking again.

     What was this war for? What was it about? Who started it?

     I knew next to nothing about it, besides a few scores and battle sites Takuya had told me about. I knew some of who fought where, what important person died at what time from what, some holy weapons that were supposed to be recovered from a few Time Prisons so the heroes could rise up and win.

     Other than that, I knew nothing. Anything about the personnel of the Demon side was foreign business to me.

     As I sat puffing out fog in the cold morning air, wrapped up in a winter coat and with earmuffs covering my head, my thoughts continued until someone disrupted them sometime later.

     "This is a lonely place to be, is it not?"

     "I bet that's what you came here for, even though you may say that," I gently responded while looking up at the sky that promised snow sometime soon.

     Magaris gave a wry smile while her hands clasped behind her back, "Very true."

     "Why are you not inside anymore?"

     "It got a little too depressing for me. I may be sad, but not that sad."

     "Really? I remember the times you used to have a sour attitude because you were so swept up in grief. I've spit on you more than a few times, that I know for sure without hacking my own memories."

     "I wasn't that bad, was I?" The lady eased herself onto the bench next to me, hands rubbing together.

     "You used to treat my mother like she was a peasant."

     Magaris flinched. "Okay, maybe I remember that a little."

     "Guilty as charged."

     She shrugged helplessly at my words. "I was too bitter for my own good and couldn't see the way out. I was so consumed by the thought my brother would never come back that I just..."

      Magaris went quiet as she looked up at the sky with me, tears threatening to spill.

     "And when he never did come back, I thought I lost it all."

     "I know. I remember seeing you, on the night the campaign members came back. I didn't really know what was going on, seeing as I was only a month old."

     ...Not a lie if you take into consideration that I knew, and still know nothing, of the war.

     "But the faces and words of people around me still echo in my heart. They all looked so happy when someone called out from the wagons, broken when no one did. I can't shake the feeling...what if my father never came back, and I never met him? What if I had been just another stillborn that never woke up? Would I just be yet another mourned on this day? Someone who never got to fulfill their life as many others were unable to? Who am I, in this world? Is it really okay for this little girl to be alive, safe and taken care of, almost carelessly throwing away my life sometimes, when there are others who could take my place? Why aren't my suffering counterparts with their families right now? Wives, children, husbands, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, parents, cousins, nieces, nephews...all of them, gone. Many of them will never meet again. And for what? What did they ever do, how exactly do they deserve to be called to war for something that doesn't concern them? If the point of this war is over a woman or some bull like that, I'll most certainly not stay calm," I thought of Helen of Troy.

     "Did the humans start it and I'm just defending them and their petty reasons prejudicially, or did the Demons start it and I pity them uselessly? Who am I to believe? Who am I to care for, support? What am I supposed be doing right now? I was given this knowledge for a reason, but am I supposed to use it? I could bring down the Church itself with all I know, from Margaret's dirty memories and my own abilities. That would be a major turning point in the war, in the Demons' favor, because of all the divided peoples. In fact, it may start more wars with all of the other continents and races that believe in the gods. This whole world belongs to the Church, and there's almost nothing anybody can do about it. So the whole cycle has repeated for twenty-seven long years because no one takes a stand. No one can shake things up a little without worrying about the balance being tipped too far, upsetting someone that would off them for no reason, or causing the loss of multiple lives with a means to an end, but no justified sacrifice. And yet, the war still goes on, these innocent and frightened people still lose and hurt and cry, because everyone's too afraid to risk it all. No one can change anything, because the ones who haven't lost anything are afraid of change. It...can't keep going like this. It really can't. If this world wants to keep on turning, thrive, live; something-or someone-needs to happen."

     I went quiet as I got absorbed in my own thoughts again, squinting frustratedly at the sky and wanting to throw something.

     Magaris spoke up, having not been allowed to say anything while I had an epiphany.

     "For someone who claims to not know much about this world, I think you know more than anyone else," her voice was breathy as disbelieving, her eyes looking at me as if they were seeing something incredible.

     I shook my head, still staring at the sky. "I never claimed to not know much about this world, just the war."

     "Even so, you are officially the most amazing person I've ever met. That's saying something, because I know your mother and your father."

     "Please," I waved a hand, unbothered by the cold because I was a Living Vampire, someone untouched by things like temperature. "Both of them are more amazing that me by a long shot."

     "It's not everyday a toddler can speak so profoundly about such topics," Magaris shook her head.

     "Since when was I a toddler? Physically I'm only one and a few days shy of two, and mentally I have the most complicated system inside that it's a wonder how I still wake up everyday."

     "You're a toddler because you are your parents' child, and their child is about to turn two." As if she remembered something, her head whipped to the side and the golden strands flying about framed her heart-shaped face, red nose making me think of a certain reindeer. "Please, I beg of you, do not try out being a child in their terrible twos. That was already hard enough with the magical duo, so having a little girl mouthing off and running around with the complex mind of an adult would be too much to handle."

     "Don't worry," I giggled. "I always try to be on my best behavior. I don't think Mother would've done so well with an ordinary child, so I think we're both glad we don't have to go through that phase since I'm pretty self-aware."

     "And for that, you don't know how many of us employees are thankful," Magaris bowed her head.

     "I try," I gave her my best smile. "Now, shall we go inside? Your face is very red."

     "I can't tell with you, since your as brown as a cookie still," she grabbed my nose and shook it side to side. "How did you tan yourself so deeply?"

     "Many, many weeks of being fully exposed to the sun...it's a miracle I didn't get skin cancer, because I have no clue how to deal with that one right off the bat."

     "What's cancer?"

     "Oh, nothing..." Actually, it's not nothing; it's a very deadly-

     Never mind. Enough death and despair for today.

     That day ended a lot better for us both, as we walked back in the cold winds under Saedli's chilling rays. We headed in feeling a lot better than when we had walked out.

     For the others, I wasn't sure I could say the same.