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"I want to be someone's favorite." You cried, staring out the window so you didn't have to see the pity on Sam's face. "I want to know what it's like to have someone always there for you. That would drop everything in an instant to be Okay."
"Y/N, I..." Sam started, no doubt trying to tell you that your feelings would pass. That you were being sentimental.
"Sam, don't." You whispered, because you knew it was true. All of your life you knew you were always second best. A person that people just used and discarded like yesterday's newspaper. You weren't important enough, and never would be. "You have Dean, and Cas. I came in late, never quite fitting into your little team free will. I always watched on the sidelines, hoping you would remember I was still there. That I could be a welcome addition to your team. But I've come to the conclusion that it's never going to happen."
He stopped the Impala, turning to stare at you with those expressive hazel eyes. Hazel eyes that you had hoped would one day show love for you in them. "Y/N, you are a part of team free will! You are an important part! Dean and I, we..."
"Is that why I'm often left behind at the bunker?" You asked, wiping away a tear. "Or when we're out for the night at a bar, I'm often forgotten and have to walk back to the motel? Sam, I know you don't mean to do it, but I'm done with feeling like I'm second best. I just want to find someone out there, that thinks I'm special. I want to feel like there's someone who cares if I'm having a bad day. That notices when I'm feeling too much."
"Y/N, I know you're hurting right now, but running away isn't the answer." Sam started arguing as you realized the bus station was just up ahead.
Smiling sadly at home, you shook your head. "Sam, I've been hurting for a long time, and you guys have never noticed. I could never see a future for myself, and that scares me. I've been so lost lately, so scared that my life is going nowhere, and you guys never even realized that my head is hardly above the water. I don't blame you, and never will. You've had enough going in your life, and you have your special people. You have your family, your little circle and I arrived too late. Too late and too awkward to actually fit in."
Opening your door, you stepped out, grabbing your bag as you went. "Tell Dean and Cas by for me. And know I will be thinking about you, hoping you guys stay safe."
As you turned to walk, Sam grabbed you by the arm, pulling you tight to his chest. "Y/N, I've screwed up so much. I wish I had noticed sooner how you felt. I've felt the same, all my life and I should have seen the pattern in you. I've always been afraid to let you in." He admitted, and your gaze darted to his.
"What?" You breathed.
"I didn't know my actions would hurt you so badly. Y/N, I've always been afraid to let you in, afraid that once I did, I would feel too much. But it's too late, you've snuck into my heart, filling all of the crevices with love and hope."
"Please don't toy with me. I've wanted this so long, but if..." You threatened. Your emotions were already overloaded, and you couldn't take the chance that Sam was just saying these things to make you stay.
"Y/N, you'll never be second best to me, and I should have shown you that from the start. You're the first thing crossing my mind in the morning when I wake. You're the first one I want to show things to. Not Dean, not Cas. You. I wish I had known how you were feeling, so I could have manned up earlier and told you how I felt. I just hope that it's not too late to say that I love you, that you are someone's favorite person. You're mine."
Tears streamed down your face as you pressed your face against his chest. Your heart felt hope for the first time in a long time. A part of you still wanted to turn and run, afraid that he was just saying these things because he felt guilty. But you had wanted this for so long. A chance to belong, to have someone that cared about you. Deeply cared. "Sam, please. Just promise me that you're telling the truth. That this isn't your guilt pushing you to admit..."
With lanky fingers, he tilted your face up, his lips stopping your words as they crashed against yours. Everything you had felt, all the frustration, loneliness was poured into the kiss, and you felt the same from Sam. It was washed away as his hands pulled you tighter to him, changing the angle of this kiss. Loneliness melted away, hope and love taking it's place, and you knew what you would do.
"Please, don't go Y/N. Not for me, but for you. Stay and let me show you how much you mean to me. You'll never feel second best again."
"I'll stay." You whispered, hoping that this was the right choice.
