Bittersweet

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Being pushed against the crumbling wall, you stared up at the man you hadn't seen in years. He was hardened and rougher around the edges, but it was still Dean. The man who had ripped your heart out so many years ago.

"Y/N?" His hand dropped away as if he had been burnt. His green eyes were wide as they glanced up and down your body. "No, this can't be. You're dead."

"As you can see, I'm not," You argued, trying to calm your pounding heart. "It's been a while," you muttered awkwardly, not sure what to say to him. How to handle this reunion you had dreamed of so many times.

Dean seemed so different. But that shouldn't surprise you. After ten years, anyone would have changed. But it hurt your heart to see him so hardened, so cold and calculated. His eyes narrowed before his lips captured yours, but you weren't ready for it. Pushing hard on his chest, he finally took a step back.

"What the hell was that?" You asked. "You kick me out of your life all those years ago, and now you want to act as everything is alright?"

Dean glanced around, frowning when you both heard clanging coming from the alley over. "Can we not do this here?"

"Where? I wasn't planning on being in town long," you argued.

"I have a camp," he told you, suddenly grabbing your hand and pulling you along with him as a bunch of Croats came around the corner. You began running beside Dean as fast as you could, pulling your gun from its holster.

Dean stopped beside a beat-up jeep, pushing you inside before climbing in the driver's seat. "Baby?" You asked as he sped away from the zombie-like creatures.

"She's gone. Like most of the things in my life," he muttered half to himself. "Rotting in a pile of dirt."

"Dean, I'm sorry," you reached over, squeezing his hand. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced at you before quickly turning his attention back to what had once been a county road, but was nothing more than crumbling pavement. "I know how much that car meant to you."

The rest of the ride was in silence as Dean turned away from the big city to the sprawling hills. He drove the jeep through a heavily guarded gate, and you gasped in awe at the camp in front of you. People went back and forth, heading into one of the ten cabins spread throughout. It was more unaffected people than you had seen in a long time. You watched closely, hoping to see a couple of familiar faces. Everyone scattered out of Dean's way, and it was easy to tell he was the leader of this group. Which didn't surprise you.

"Stick with me," he ordered, stepping from the car, and you followed him closely, walking past a group of people before he stepped into one of the cabins. "Sit," he ordered. Pouring two glasses of whiskey, he sat down across from you propping his feet on the table. "So, where the hell have you been?"

"On my own, exactly as you wanted," you retorted. "Hiding in ghost towns, staying in Bobby's old cabins. Just trying to survive."

"I had heard you were dead," he mumbled. "Through the grapevine, about five years ago. Heard you were taken down by a vamp."

"Almost," you answered, taking a sip. "But I hid in Wyoming and healed. Now you. What's up with the whole Croat virus, and this camp? And where's Sam and Cas?"

"Don't say that name," he growled, his hand clenching the glass tight. "Don't you dare say my brother's name."

Before you could ask what had happened the door opened, and Cas stepped inside. But it wasn't the Cas you remembered. He was loose and calm and high? "Cas?"

"Y/N!" He exclaimed, stopping in his tracks. "Dean, she's not dead!"

"Yeah, I got that," Dean muttered. "I just want to know why she's here. After all these years."

"I heard of a way out," you admitted. "The colt, it's here. And I want to use it to stop this before it gets any worse."

"The colt? We've been searching for it for years!" Dean exclaimed. "Tell me more."

Cas sat down beside you, listening as you told both of them everything you knew. Dean stayed quiet, his hands clasped in his lap as he memorized your words. When you were done he sat back. "Cas, you can go now."

Cas patted you on the shoulder as he stood up. "Great to see you Y/N. I always knew you weren't dead, but Dean here..he wouldn't believe me."

As soon as Cas was out of the cabin, Dean rounded the desk and pulled you to your feet. "Y/N, I'm sorry I sent you away all of those years ago. But if I hadn't you wouldn't be here now. And that's what matters."

Before you could come up with a response to that, his lips were hot on yours again, but this time you didn't push him away. Dean's hands wrapped through your hair, holding you still while his lips became familiar with yours once again. Your hands grasped his waist, holding on, enjoying the feel of his body against yours once again.

Coming up for air, Dean swept his hand across the desk, clearing it instantly before sitting you on top. You braced yourself on the scarred wood as his lips plundered yours once again, his hands brushing under your flannel shirt.

It wasn't a gentle reunion. His hands were rough and hot against your skin, his movements rough and fast. You held on, letting him take what he needed, knowing you needed it as well.

It was early morning when you found yourself laying on the rug in front of the fireplace, Dean beside you. He had his arm thrown over your waist, running his finger along the scars that he found there. Some were new, others old. "I remember some of these," he spoke softly.

"Of course you do. You were the one to always patch me up," you sighed. "Dean, this was...amazing, and everything I've dreamed of for years."

"I've dreamed of it too," he answered, sitting up. "But now, we have the Colt to go find."

Within the hour you found yourself standing beside both Cas and Chuck. It was weird but oddly reassuring. Chuck was muttering something about hoarding toilet paper, but you were more interested in watching Dean.

He was barking orders, telling people all about his new plan. But you could see the tightness in his shoulders that no one else could, the tick in his jaw. He wasn't okay with something, and that thought scared you.

"Dean," You put your hand on his shoulder, but he just brushed it off.

"Not now Y/N, I'm busy."

He stalked away, leaving you alone once again. "Don't worry about it," Cas tried assuring you. "He's always that way before a recon mission."

"I'm just not sure about," you whispered, but it was too late. Dean was ordering everyone into cars. You slipped into the jeep beside him, Cas riding in the back. And every time you tried talking to Dean, he brushed it off.

"Dean, please. Just tell me what happened to Sam," you finally insisted.

"He's gone," he answered, but Cas leaned forward.

"He said yes," he sighed. "A couple of years ago. "And now, Dean is trying to stop him."

You couldn't believe the news. You had never imagined that Sam would say yes. But you shouldn't have been surprised.

Dean parked the jeep on the side of the road, waiting until everyone climbed out of their cars. "Alright, here's the plan. I need half of you going in through the back. The rest, through the front. The ones in the back will create a diversion, and that's when I want Y/N and Cas to grab the gun. Understood?"

"Dean, where are you going to be?" You asked as half the group headed through the alley.

"Right behind you sweetheart," he whispered, cupping your cheek for a minute. "You have nothing to worry about."

You smiled through your tears, knowing this plan wasn't right. But you needed the gun, and you would die trying. "Dean, I've always loved you," you told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "And please, try to save Sam," you pleaded before you walked towards certain death. 

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