Broken (Haikyuu!! Fanfic)

(9)

WAKE UP
WAKE UP
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP

In the bathroom, Hinata could no longer hold back his tears. He sobbed and sobbed into his palm, biting it so as to not make any noise.

WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP

His mind screamed that he was still asleep and that the monster was coming. It was coming to get him. He needed to run away to get away from it because it was coming! It was going to kill him!
Quickly pinching and hitting his left arm, he found that he was indeed awake. Sliding down onto the floor Hinata clutched his head in his hands. He felt like he was going insane.
He was all alone.
He has always been alone.
No one could save him.
Damn I could really use a drink right about now.
His eyes widened. For the first time he realized how much he sounded like his father.
Fuck.
Going back into the room, he slowly walked to his bag to grab a change of clothes and his phone.
Within five minutes he was off running in unfamiliar streets, going past unfamiliar buildings that housed unfamiliar people who each had lives of their own.
Hinata wondered if any of the people he had passed had lives like his.
Did anyone he passed understand what was going on in his life?
Probably not. Hinata was alone.

As he neared his starting point, he noticed that no one was looking for him. Did he even want people to notice that he was gone?
In a way, yes he did.

He wanted to show people just how badly he needed help. He wanted to put his bruises and scars on display for all to see.

Before he knew it he was walking into the bathroom. He noticed how exhausted he looked. The dark circles under his eyes dominated his face. His once vibrant hair seemed dull and lifeless.
Undressing from his sweaty night clothes, he got into the shower. Thankfully it was early enough that no one would barge in on him since they were communal showers.

While in the shower, Hinata decided to think. Well Hinata thought all the time, but never really much about himself. Mostly he thought about how others thought about him, and how to direct peoples attentions elsewhere. He jumped and screamed and shined as bright as he could. He shined so brightly that his rays of pureness and light out shined the darker parts.

He thought of his new friends from the woods. They had been texting while Hinata was at training camp and they've gotten much closer. He's learned that Sam ran away from his druggie parents and is now basically homeless but still works 3 jobs trying to save up enough for school. He learned that Dylan and Garret are step brothers and that their mother is never around, and that their their father is always off screwing some secretary.
Adam and Dani live on the same street and they bonded when they were younger once they saw each other's parents' marks on them. He learned that Adam's father hurts him because he's gay, and that Dani's parents are just plain cruel and manipulative and controlling.
They've each had awful experiences but still manage to rally together and help each other cope. It's quite amazing.
Hinata still felt the need to keep the details to himself about exactly what his father does and has been doing. Actually, has he ever come out and said that his father beats him? Burns him? Emotionally scars him?
No.
No he hasn't.

They all see the bruises and scars. They see the glazed over look in his eyes. They see him.
For once someone actually sees him.
It's a relief to be seen and not hated.

Hinata has also made friends with people from Nekoyama during the training camp.
First was Kenma. He seemed pretty cool, Hinata really liked his hair and the fact that he liked video games.
However, his eyes scared him.
Cool and calculating. Always analyzing his every move, word, eye movement, breath.
Hinata liked it.
It was like a challenge to see how well he could cover his tracks.

Then came Lev.
Lev was very tall but also very goofy. Almost the complete opposite of Kenma. Hinata could slip up in front of him and he wouldn't notice. It was therapeutic in a way.
He could gain a challenge from Kenma, and a semi-reprieve of his facade from Lev.

That day's practice did not go well for Hinata.
He was unfocused, unbalanced and uncoordinated. He sure got an earful from Kageyama every time he would miss a receive or make a bad call or not spike the ball correctly.
It was wearing him down.
Each yell reminded him more and more of his father yelling. The booming, echoing voice that carried inside the practice area.
It was getting to be too much.
An anger built inside of him, seething and churning.

It all came out once Hinata was unable to receive a spike.
"Hinata you idiot! A child could've gotten that!"
Hinata just put his head down, clenching his teeth and his fists.
"Don't ignore me dumbass! Be better! You're putting a burden on us!"
"O-Oi Kageyama that's enough, it's not his fau-" Daichi out his hand on Kageyama's shoulder only for it to be pushed off.
"No! He keeps messing up!" Kageyama came closer to him, each step thundered in the gymnasium. "Do you even care? You don't deserve to be on this team!"

s n a p

He couldn't control himself. His fist flew at the wall. A yell escaped his mouth.

crack

Hinata broke the wall panel. It just broke.
Everyone was silent. They were afraid to speak. No one had ever seen him angry. That was something Hinata kept to himself.
Immediately after punching the wall, Hinata turned to face Kageyama. His eyes blazing with white hot hatred.
Then in a second it had disappeared. Shame took its place. His eyes darted around to meet everyone.
Then, he ran.

Hi everyone! I actually have another chapter out within a week of the last one! Yay me!

I'm really enjoying reading all of your comments, you all seem like such interesting and kind people and I love that you're reading my shitty story lol.
As always I love you all and I hope you enjoyed!